When a Girlfriend Guru Loses Her Mojo | Friendship Perspective from Jennifer Hall

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Girlfriend Guru, thankful for friendsLearn from yesterday, but say goodbye – welcome today and embrace it. ~Michael W. Posey

Girlfriend, don’t you find that are days when everything seems to click? If we’re lucky, those days stretch into weeks and months. There are days when nothing at all seems to work. Sometimes, those days stretch into weeks and months.

Girlfriend Guru (and yes she is) JENNIFER HALL bravely shares some of the circumstances in her life that making her life hard. We want to remind her that we all share our girlfriends’ pain and sadness just as we share in the joy and happiness. We’re here for you girlfriend!

Can I be honest with you guys?

I am supposedly a “Girlfriend Guru,” but I haven’t written anything for Girlfriendology in months.

And now? I’m struggling with insecurities and some friendship … weirdness.

How can I give you all so-called girlfriend advice when I’m the one who needs it?

Confession: I’m not as smart, confident, and full of good advice as I might seem to be.

I have some heavy life things I carry due to my husband’s chronic illness. I will most certainly outlive him. And I am afraid of ending up alone.

This makes me, inside my head, put too much pressure on my friendships. I easily feel insecure in them, fearing they will leave me too.

Most of the time I’m able to push away these feelings, but sometimes, for who knows what reason, they overwhelm me.

So I don’t have anything to offer you lovely ladies right now. I don’t even know if Girlfriendology will want to publish this. (Of course we do/did!!! Girlfriends share honestly – right?! Thanks Jennifer!)

What I can say is that when things feel off, it generally means there’s something to be learned. And quite possibly the thing to be learned is about yourself.

For example, I am still learning how to be comfortable in my own skin. I am 38 years old. What’s taking so long?? I’m learning that I need to feel happy and fulfilled enough WITH MYSELF and not seek for someone to help me feel it. I’m learning that I am me, and that’s good.

I’m also learning that it is too easy to find yourself full of expectations. Expecting others to do/be/act a certain way 100% of the time. And maybe forgetting you’re not the only one who needs things….

It’s hard not to feel disappointed when the expectations you’ve built up aren’t met. But that’s not fair. It’s also hard to see that sometimes something you think is one thing, is really something else entirely. And it’s probably YOU, not them.

So ladies, I am in the process of learning more about friendship. I hope this learning process will make me a better Guru, and my next post will be much more uplifting!

JENNIFER HALL, aka: Just Jennifer, is a SAHM of a daughter and a son, married to a diabetic on dialysis. She enjoys knitting, scrapbooking, reading, and TV. She’s visually impaired and describes herself as anxious, traumatized, dorky, funny, real, and says her “life is a roller coaster and I’m blogging my way through it all!” As an only child, her Girlfriends are like sisters to her. She believes in learning, growing, living, loving, and laughing. She is grateful.

How do you keep up with your friends along life’s journey?

Girlfriendology learn from yesterday, friendship quoteThanks Girlfriend Guru JENNIFER HALL – we <3 you and your great girlfriend advice/posts! Check out these great posts by Jennifer:

AND … JOIN US for our Girlfriend Cruise to Jamaica and Grand Cayman! (Jennifer – Join us!)

By the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!) SIGN UP for our weekly newsletter and get our FREE eBook ‘30 Days / 30 Ways to Be a Better Friend– check it out!

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  1. says

    I totally get what you’re saying…okay, not really since I don’t have the husband with health issues, but I get how you may feel like you’re putting too much pressure on your friends and so you back up so they don’t leave you too.
    but babe? that’s what friends are for, and real friends will never back up, because who knows when one of us will need an ear…

  2. vanessa M says

    Thanks for your confession, I can relate to those feelings, of being afraid of asking to much from my girlfriends and ending up scaring them away! I hope you can find your way, and keep in mind there are a lot of girlfriends who struggle with the same… (like me!) And I will pray for your husband! Jennifer! you are a strong person! hugs from Belgium!

  3. Kate says

    Amen on all of that! You have summed up my last year – ill husband, new job, 2 kids in new schools, moved…and I put so much pressure on girlfriends when I was overwhelmed that I think I scared them away. Life is very lonely without some girls to share the good AND the bad. I’m still on the learning curve, too. Hope you find your way again, sister!

  4. Ashlee Stalling says

    I have been there too, sad to say. I have one friendship soecifically that I have put too much pressure on and it suffered. We are back to being friends now, but there is that underlying feeling that we both know what happened and we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. I tend to obsess over it at times, instead of trying to find things that will help me learn. I found a really good book called Women I Want to Grow Old With, by 2 women that seem to have a real handle on what we need friendships for and great ideas on how to keep them whole. You can look it up at womeniwanttogrowoldwith.com. But sometimes it takes a real shot to the gut to realize that driving them away, means they may not be there when you really need them. That is a scary thought to me!

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