It’s all about perspective. How we look at life events, how we react and adjust to them, how we move forward–it all makes an enormous difference. Some of us move toward the new; others of us, facing the same event, move from the old. Those of us moving “to” must be careful not to entirely cut off the old; those of moving “from” need to open our arms to embrace the new.
Girlfriend Guru LISA SARICK reflects on moving–both emotionally and physically–in this blog about leaving girlfriend traditions. We wish her all the best during her move. And we can’t wait to hear about the next chapter of Girlfriend Traditions (the new version).
Years ago…back when I was with husband number 1, even,… my best, oldest friend and MoonGirl started a tradition of having a brunch on Christmas morning with us girlfriends and our significant others. We each bring food. We drink mimosas. We offer a blessing before we eat. We go around the table and express gratitude. We exchange gifts. But mainly we laugh and love and revel in the company of friends – in our chosen family. Afterward we go our separate ways, onto Christmas days and dinners with our blood relatives, our other families.
Last year I didn’t make it. My daughter was sick and we stayed home. They texted me a picture of them all sitting at the table. I cried. And THIS YEAR I am moving!…weeks before Christmas, a couple of hundred miles away. I’ve talked to the girlfriends about the brunch. Do I drive the five hours for brunch and then go back? What will we do about presents? Will it go on if I am not there? We are all kinds of scrambling and desperate.
This is what the yogis and Buddhists call “attachment,” and see as the cause of suffering. These traditions (and others, like the 12 Steps) recommend practicing nonattachment, allowing everything to be as it is and embracing change as the nature of life…but only if you want to be happy.
Buddhist teacher and author, Lam Surya Das said: Attachment is like holding on tightly to something that is always slipping through my fingers—it just gives me rope burn.
Ooh yeah, I feel the burn right now of moving away from my MoonGirls, of missing the brunch and any other gatherings they might have without me. At the same time, part of me is practicing nonattachment. I am open to a new adventure. I wonder if I can gather a circle of girls near my new home. I know that my original MoonGirls will always be my friends – we talk on the phone mostly anyway, I’m teaching them to Skype, and I love the idea of (at least) yearly retreats to be physically together! It’s all Ok really. I have wonderful memories and photos of many Friends’ Brunches. I have their love in my heart always.
Everything changes… and yet love remains. Some even say:
Only love is real.
Get your girlfriends together. Have coffee, brunch or wine, or go Christmas shopping with lunch included.
It is natural and important for women to gather! It’s part of feminine essence. We Thrive and Arrive with support of other women. The go-it-alone / make-something-of-yourself / be-independent mindsets are masculine in nature and can leave women feeling lonely, drained, and stressed…even if they bring ‘success.’
Sit in your girlfriends’ company at some point this holiday season, and take Love and Joy into your being. Then make it a regular habit, at least once a year.
LISA SARICK (A.K.A. Rev. Lisa) is an Interfaith Minister, Yoga Instructor, and Spiritual Guide. She guides people seeking peace to go beyond the limits of their minds to the freedom of their spirit. She holds 1-on-1 sessions, officiates ceremonies, and founded Moon Circle, an online gathering for women friends. Her home on the web is LisaSarick.com.
Thanks LISA! And thanks for sharing these other Girlfriend Guru blog posts:
- Do Gratitude!
- How to NOT get mad at your Girlfriends
- Be Your Own Friend
- Blessing for a Friendship
- The Gift of Being Unsure
- Helping Girlfriends Move Forward
- Birthday Ritual Celebration Ideas
- Moon Circle | A Girlfriend Love Story
- Advice for little Girlfriends | 10 Things They Need to Know
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