friendship is a pricess gift

The Greatest Gift of Friendship is …

friendship is a pricess giftFriendship is a priceless gift
That can’t be bought or sold,
But its value is far greater
Than a mountain made of gold.

- Helen Steiner Rice

What gift of friendship do your friends give you? What one word describes how they impact your life? How does your BFF(s) bless your life?

They can’t be bought or sold. Their value is far better than a mountain made of gold.

Funny how friends come into your life. Crystal is a blogger and I wish I could remember the second that we met – I’m pretty sure it was at a blogger conference. Eventually, at another blogger conference, she introduced me to her BFF Monique. Of course, we all felt the joy and bond of friendship.

I got to see Crystal and ‘Mo this past weekend when in their city for a wedding. We haven’t been together in two years but it was just like yesterday. We picked up where we left off. We gave each other grace and showed the kindness and understanding of true friends. (And Crystal did give me a lovely gift of a necklace with an orange gerbera daisy :)

What’s the lesson? What can we learn about friendship and being a better friend?

It’s doing a few simple things …

1. Be there for each other – in good and bad times, are you the friend who gets ‘the call?’ Be there for each other. It’s so worth it!

2. Cheer each other up – We’re there for each other in good and bad times. Be the friend who is there for her friends!

3. Make time for each other – It’s probably the littlest BIG thing you can do – make room in your busy schedule for your BFF(s). Do that and she’ll always make time for you. (And you never know when you need some girlfriend time!)

Thanks Crystal and Monique (aka: #MoCris) – for the awesome gift of your friendship! LOVE YOU BOTH! & Here they are talking about how they became friends:

Friendship Summer quote

A Summer of Sister-Friend Fun … Happy Summer Solstice!

Friendship Summer quoteThe days are now getting shorter (WTHeck?!) but we’ve got the summer ahead, so let’s plan some fun things with our girlfriends! Here’s a Summer of Sister-Friend Fun – start planning!

A life without FRIENDSHIP* is like a year without summer. ~Improvised Swedish Proverb (our version, ‘Love’ is another option)

I love Summer – especially when it means I get to spend time with a friend. Actually, spending time with friends is a great excuse to forget the Summer chores and take some time off to just be around each other. I’m so ready for Summer to spend time meeting my college BFF Barb for Yoga in the Park, or some pool time with Cath, or biking with Paula. Who are you looking forward to spending with time this Summer? Here’s come ideas for making it a special Summer for you and your girlfriends!

Summer is the season for girlfriend time together! Like these 5 ways to Beat the Heat with Your Girlfriends5 Ways to Beat the Heat with Your Girlfriends this Summer!

And, it’s a great time to remember to be HAPPY. Here’s 5 Ways to have a Happy Summer | Girlfriend Advice on Happiness for Women

Make her feel special for her Summer Birthday or Special Summer Day! One of the great ways to show a friend how much her friendship means to you is to give her a special, thoughtful, unique and personal gift. (Don’t give her something you’d give your mom or coworker – give her a gift that is perfect for HER!) Here’s 10 Great Girlfriend Gifts for Summer.

What are YOU and your BFFs doing this Summer?

empowered women powerful beautiful

Girlfriend Advice … 3 ways to be an Empowered Woman

empowered women powerful beautiful

Empowered women are powerful and beautiful

“The empowered woman is powerful beyond measure and beautiful beyond description.” Steve Maraboli

We all have it inside of us … the power to take control of our life, the strength to go after our dreams, the faith in ourselves that we need to shine as we should. But, admit it girlfriend, we often let others dim our light, seize our power, and cause us to doubt our dreams.

Today’s girlfriend advice is on regaining that empowerment and the power and beauty that comes with it. Here’s 3 ways to stay an empowered woman:

1. Find (& follow) your passion – It’s tough to cheer for others’ dreams when we’ve forgotten our own. Go after your “if only I could” list, then encourage other women to do the same. Don’t just say it – lead by example. It could mean leaving the ‘safe job’ and starting your own business. It might take you back to school or forward to your next profession. Whatever you dream, now is the time to go for it. Life is too short to not be a good friend or to go after your dreams.

2. Help others dream – and achieve their dreams – We like to think we’re here for others, right? We have the supreme honor of making an impact for other women on their road to their dreams. Maybe it’s working together or helping the other find a new career. Perhaps it is listening while she explores her options and being there whatever route she takes. Sometimes, it will probably be just being there as her cheerleader and biggest believer. Help your girlfriends seize the dreams that empower them.

3. Celebrate your feminine strength – As Winnie the Pooh (or A.A. Milne) said: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Celebrate the powerful female creature that you are and trust that you are stronger than you seem. Just remember that. And that your girlfriends believe in you and are there for you. 

Girlfriend, feel EMPOWERED today to do what you need to do to be who you need to be. Your girlfriends believe in you – do the same!


12 Ideas for a Fun Summer with Your Girlfriends

12 Ideas for a Fun Summer with Your Girlfriends

 Happy Summer Girlfriend! What are you and your friends doing this summer for fun? We’ve got 12 Ideas for a Fun Summer with Your Girlfriends – to beat the heat, have fun in the sun, and just enjoy the joys of girlfriends!

Girlfriendology friends are the sunshine, friendship quote“FRIENDS are the sunshine of life.” (Be someone’s sunshine today!)  – John Hay

1. Plan a picnic. There are so many wonderful ways to picnic during the summer. Find a picnic table at a park or bring your own blanket (red check table cloths are not mandatory). Find portable, easy to eat food, and savor the sunshine while you share lunch or dinner with your favorite outdoorsy girlfriend.

2. Go someplace you’ve been meaning to visit for a while. Go explore with a girlfriend! You know that list of places you’ve said you’re going to get to “someday”? Make now that “someday.” Call up a gal pal and head out to explore a particular part of town, a flea market, or park that you’ve never gotten around to visiting.

3. Nothing says summer like water. Whether you’re a swimmer or not, there are all sorts of ways to enjoy water activities in the summer with your friends. Find a pool, a pond, a lake, or a river, and relish the sights and sounds. Consider kayaking or canoeing on a lazy river or lake. Perhaps you and a friend prefer to float the day away in an inner tube or on a raft or at a local water park. Maybe hanging out with your friends while you take a dip in a pool is more your style, just don’t forget the sunscreen!

4. Share watermelon. We all love the freshness of summer fruits and vegetable, and when you can grow them yourself or buy them at a local farm stand, they are even better. But the most ‘summer’ fruit of all is watermelon. And it is the perfect size for sharing with a bunch of girlfriends.

12 Ideas for a Fun Summer with Your Girlfriends5. Try a new flavor of ice cream. If you’re not in the mood for fruit, consider trying new summertime ice cream flavors. It seems everyone from large ice cream distributors to local mom & pop stores bring out fantastic new flavors each summer. (What’s your favorite? And what’s your BFF’s favorite flavor?!) Or try making homemade ice cream and the sky’s the limit!

6. See a movie. On days when it is blazing hot and the idea of even walking to the mailbox seems dreadful, why not head to the movies? There are dozens of new releases this time of year and you are sure to find one that you and your girlfriends will enjoy as much as you enjoy the delightfully cool air conditioning. (Just checking – who’s seen BRIDEMAIDS? Who loved or didn’t love it? Share your girlfriend review!)

7. Read a great book. Summer is a wonderful time for reading a new book. The days are longer and it feels like there is extra time to sit and read for while each day. Are you part of a book club? What books do you recommend to your girlfriends?

8. Catch up on fresh looks with a favorite magazine* (or two). There is something completely indulgent about reading fun magazines (and blogs!) and summer seems like the perfect time for catching up on your favorites. Grab the copies you’ve been meaning to read for a while, set up a lawn chair, and relax. Then share those magazines or books with a girlfriend and have your own little reading group. Or read the same book as a long distance girlfriend then catch up on life and the book the next time you chat. Enjoy all the things you love – summer, reading and your great girlfriends!

9. Work together to be Healthier – Did you know that female friendship actually makes women healthier? It reduces stress (definitely a healthy thing) but it also means we support each other. Why not take a healthy challenge with your friends and these 5 ways to be healthier this summer?

10. Brunch! – Who doesn’t love Brunch, right?! It’s a perfect way to spend time with friends on a Saturday or Sunday mid-morning (probably not too early!). Invite the girls over, set up a picnic table or trays to take brunch outside (or stay in, if it’s just too hot!). What should you serve? How about a brunch bread bowl with ingredients that each girlfriend selects herself?! Check out the brunch recipe and wine pairing from the Wine Sisterhood. (They’re not only Wine Sisters, they’re also fabulous Foodies!)

11. Grilling Girls – Sure it’s hot, but some things are worth it! Fire up the grill with/for the girls with a tasty Cilantro Lime Beef Satay. Serve with Middle Sister Rebel Red or PromisQous Red and voila! Then jump in a pool and cool off! (Even if it’s just a wading pool or you feel like a kid again and run through a sprinkler

12. Celebrate Summer! Girlfriend parties are the BEST, right? So plan some time together. That’s all it takes. TIME TOGETHER! Summer Solstice, Pool Day, Sangria Saturday (check out that recipe!), Birthdays, 4th of July, Chick Flicks – or just make up an excuse to see your girlfriends!

What are YOU and YOUR GIRLFRIENDS doing for the Summer?

7 ways to cheer up a friend, be a better friend

7 Ways to Cheer Up a Girlfriend | Be a Better Friend

Don’t you love when your friends are there for you? Be a better friend …

7 ways to cheer up a friend, be a better friendWe all have great days when we want to shout happiness from a rooftop somewhere. We all have days that are neither wonderful nor terrible.  Sometimes we have days that are Just AwfulAs bad as it is when we have bad days, it is almost worse when a good friend has a bad day.  We feel for them and want to help—but often we don’t know what to do or how to help her.

There are all different kinds of days we’d rather not repeat.  Bad days range from the bad-hair-nail-chipped-spilled-the-coffee days to days when we get profoundly bad, unchangeable news.  How you help your BFF is going depend on the kind of “bad” day she’s having and on her personality (and yours).  Here are Seven Ways for cheering up a girlfriend on a bad day.

Pick up the phone

Sometimes the simplest things can be the hardest. There are days when the phone feels like it weighs a thousand pounds.  Usually it’s because we just don’t know what to say in the face of our friends troubles.  Remember—this isn’t a stranger, this is your friend. Pick up the phone and call.  I often find it useful to check with my friend to see what role she needs from me—is my job to help solve problems, to distract her and cheer her up, or just to listen.

Send a message

Tweet, text, email, Facebook message—how you contact your friend doesn’t matter.  What’s important is that you find a way to let her know you are thinking of her and sending her a virtual hug.

Or, rather than just send a message, why not send a link to a song?  Choose a song that brings back happy memories for the two of you.  Or send a song that makes people happy. (I have a friend who says it’s impossible to be sad when you listen to a Sousa march.)

Drop by to visit

Seeing a friendly face can sometimes make all the difference.  Stop by to show your friend that there are still smiles in the world.  Even if you only have five minutes (perhaps especially if you only have five minutes), that extra effort of showing up in person can make a huge impact.

Help her take action

Sometimes we are so stuck in a bad day that even breathing seems practically impossible. Often the best role you can play is to help your friend find a way to move through the rest of the day by taking action. Small steps lead to big results.  So if your friend is overwhelmed by the idea of cleaning her entire home by the weekend, try to focus her on at least getting one room finished by the end of the day.

Take some of the burden

Lending a hand can be huge gift of friendship. Is your friend freaking out about picking up food and flowers on opposite sides of town at the same time? Why not offer to pick up the flowers for her. If she’s stressed about making and wrapping cookies for an event, why not spend some time in her kitchen helping and visiting.


Crank up the tunes, grab your friend, and start dancing. It’s amazing how your mood can improve when you move.  So ‘dance it out’ just like the gals on Grey’s Anatomy.

Just listen

Often the best thing we can do for a friend is simply be there to listen.  Listen while she shares her day, listen as she works through her struggles, listen as she laments the twists and turns she’s facing.   Leave the judgment, leave the solutions, and just listen with empathy and friendship.

How do YOU help friends who are having a tough day, girlfriend?

Judi is our Girlfriendology Chief of Brilliant Ideas, blogger at and fab mom to Rachel who helped her come up with these great ways to cheer up a friend.

friendship, friends, women, girlfriends

Confessions of a Sucky Friend – How to be a better friend, part xvixiii

friendship, friends, women, girlfriends“The best way to have a friend, is to be one.”

I’m not saying I’m not there for my friends. I SO hope I am. But sometimes I’m not the great friend that I would like to be. Sometimes I drop the ball … forget a birthday, don’t call, don’t text back, don’t say the things I should say. Sometimes I’m not the friend I’d like to be. Sometimes I fall short in the friendship ‘stack.’

And, as the founder of Girlfriendology, I ‘should’ be the BEST of Friends, right?

But sometimes I’m like you – I struggle with the words, the effort, the time that allows me to be there for my friends. Sometimes work, people, life gets in the way of showing my friends the time and attention they deserve.

Girlfriend … you, like me, need to give ourselves a little grace. Hopefully our girlfriends do. Hopefully our BFFs know what it is like, why we forget to ask about their mom or annual review, why we aren’t there when we should be like when they’ve had a bad day or an argument with someone important. We need to forgive each other like we’d like to be forgiven.

Golden rule. Grace. Love. The power of Friendship.

Today … start over. Be the friend you would love to have. Be a little better every day. Just a little. It’s okay. We’ve all had those days – where we weren’t as good of girlfriends as we wish we would have been. Let’s forgive ourselves and each other.

Life is way too short to not be a better friend. Thanks girlfriends for your love, forgiveness and, most of all, your friendship.

Be a better friend. You’ll be glad you did.

poison ivy happiness

The Poison Ivy of our Happiness | Elements of Happiness

Thanksgiving quote let us be gratefulLet’s be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. – Marcel Proust

Part of being a good friend, is wanting our friends to be HAPPY – and doing what we can to encourage, inspire and assist them.

By now you know I recently moved into a new house. So this is my first spring to discover and experience all the flora and fauna. I have a “back 40” thats a nice combination of green grass, ground cover extending to a wooded area. Deer regularly visit. There’s plenty of room for the dog to run and a fire pit for evenings with friends.

There’s a lot of honeysuckle and brush growing in and there’s a clean, distinct line between lawn and the ground cover. But when I mowed the lawn I discovered my beautiful green ground cover hosted a healthy contingent of Poison Ivy.

I’ve experienced its effects before, and because of that I am even more susceptible to it. The recovery was uncomfortable but the experience taught me a valuable lesson on recognizing its leaves of three before it had a chance to play its game with me.

Such a simple metaphor for our experience. You’ve got a good life, lots of friends, a wonderful family, and a lot of good things going on. You’re happy. Then there in the fringes of you recognize some poison ivy growing. If not taken care of early and quickly it can cause you some real discomfort. Your ability to recognize the threat to your happiness is only as good as your resolve to take swift action against it.

The poison ivy in our lives comes in a variety of ways, often disguised as people or situations that seem pleasant and harmless enough, but can bring about a good deal of discomfort and distraction in seeking the happiness in our lives if we’re not being vigilant.

There will always be poison ivy in our lives, those irritant that grows just outside the lines of what makes you happy. While you may never be able to eradicate those things from your life, you have to be prepared to recognize them and rather than hoping they’ll go away on their own – which they won’t – do what it takes to control them.

poison ivy happinessFor me, it meant long pants, long sleeves, boots and gloves, some specific poison ivy eradicator and several hours of quality time in my back 40. By dealing with my poison ivy as soon as it was discovered and growing, its arrested development will give me great peace of mind when I invite the girlfriends over for cook outs and evening fires throughout the summer months.

No one ever said tending garden was just about planting the good seeds. There will always be the weeds, some just nuisance, some more threatening, to remind us that we have to work to cultivate and grow the happiness we all want in life.

Any girlfriend advice for poison ivy? The plant or those things in your life that make you unhappy? SHARE!

Have a great spring week girlfriends. And remember: leaves of three, let it be.



Spring party ideas

Seven Spring Parties for Girlfriends | Get-Together Ideas

Spring party ideasSeven Spring Parties: Fun Ways to Get Together with Girlfriends

It’s Spring! Time to dust off the winter blues, gather up your girlfriends, and celebrate the season. Here are seven great ideas for spring girlfriend get-togethers.

Pasta Party: What is better than an evening with pasta, garlic bread, and wine? Invite your girlfriends over for a spring pasta party! Whip up two different kinds of pasta, two or three light sauces featuring spring veggies (think baby zucchini and asparagus), ask friends to bring a variety of wines, and voila!

Sangria Soiree: Nothing says spring like a lazy afternoon spent with girlfriends sipping a fruity sangria. Splurge on colorful plastic goblets and a bright tablecloth to set the mood. Pretend you’re traveling together to Napa or on a cruise and enjoy a break with your BFFs!

Seed Swap: Every year I buy packets of seeds to plant and only use a portion of the seeds in each pouch. Why not share the bounty? Invite your girlfriends to bring over a packet or two (depending on the size of your gathering) of their favorite seeds. Have lots of small envelopes and a variety of permanent markers on hand. Encourage your guests to label and decorate the envelopes and share seeds and planting instructions. (Or bring over your seed starters – and share some baby plants.)

Old Fashioned Slumber Party: Remember how much fun slumber parties were when we were kids? Now is the perfect time to bring the fun back. Stock up on slumber party essentials: movies, popcorn, ice cream, nail polish, and fuzzy slippers, and plan to sleep in the next morning.

‘Tizer Teaser: Sometimes planning a dinner party can feel overwhelming. Try an evening of ‘tizers—appetizers! Set out a variety of cheeses, dish up some tasty hors d’oeuvres, and make a meal of these delectable bites.

Progressive Dinner: Can’t decide where to go for dinner? (Wherever you want. No, no, wherever you want. Really, it’s up to you.) No need to narrow down the options! Pick one spot for drinks and appetizers, another for the main course, and a third for a fabulous dessert. You can go really wild and choose a fourth for after dinner drinks, coffee, and more great girlfriend conversation.

Munch a Brunch: There is something luxurious and decadent about even the most informal of brunches. Menus can be sweet or savory or both. From bagels to eggs Benedict, you can make the recipes as simple or involved as you choose. Be sure to tell your guests what time you expect them—brunch can be pretty much any time of day!

What are your favorite ways to get together and greet spring? We’d love to hear your great ideas, girlfriend!

Thanks girlfriend Judi Cogen for sharing these spring parties for girlfriends! (We <3 Judi!

life, inspiration, perfect, friendship

Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be … Girlfriend Advice


It’s a tough word, girlfriend. It’s something we women strive for, measure ourselves against and punish ourselves for not being. It’s a failure in how we succeed, love, earn, and even drop the ball on being a ‘perfect’ friend.

I know who I am. I am not perfect. I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. But I’m one of them.

Mary J. Blige
 life, inspiration, perfect, friendship
Like the fabulous (and beautiful) Mary J., we’re not perfect women or perfect moms, partners, coworkers, and rarely perfect FRIENDS.
Grace. Acceptance. Unconditional love of friends. People who understand you, who understand that …
Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational.

Hugh MackayLife isnt perfect be a better friend
Who here has a perfect life? Not me. But no one else does either. It doesn’t make it ‘not wonderful’ … great girlfriend advice from a woman who started with ‘big ears.’
Life doesn’t have to be Perfect to be WONDERFUL.
Annette Funicello
 life doesnt have to be perfect
So, in the words of the young, but wise …
Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are.

Ariana Grande
be happy with being you
Or the incomparable B …
If everything was perfect, you would never learn and you would never grow.

Beyonce Knowles
if everything was perfect

And, on FRIENDSHIP, from a FRIENDS expert …

Where would you be without friends? The people to pick you up when you need lifting? We come from homes far from perfect, so you end up almost parent and sibling to your friends – your own chosen family. There’s nothing like a really loyal, dependable, good friend. Nothing.

Jennifer Aniston

Dependable friendSo girlfriend. Let’s give ourselves grace in not being PERFECT. Let’s just try to be a really loyal, dependable, good friend. Let’s be the kind of friend that we’d love to have. That’s perfect enough for me!

5 ways to find more time for your friends

Be a Better Friend: 5 Ways to Find more time for your Girlfriends

5 ways to find more time for your friendsDo you balance your life to make time for your girlfriends?

Or do you struggle with balancing work, life, family, friendships and life?

Girlfriends make women healthier, happier, less stressed, live longer and feel more beautiful. Those wonderful benefits of female friendship improve our quality of life and are substantial to our level of happiness. So why don’t we work to have not only a life/work balance, but to have a life/friendship balance?

Probably the most common excuse for not making time for our girlfriends is that we don’t have the time. We have kids, jobs, homes, relationships, dirty clothes, meals to prepare, dishes to do and all the wonderful other things that women do on a daily basis. We constantly juggle deadlines and budgets, try to take care of ourselves and our families, and often don’t even sleep well to be rested for another day of responsibilities and expectations.

Here’s our girlfriend advice for being a better friend and maintaining a life friendship balance:

1. Make time with your girlfriends a priority. Put it on  your calendar. Schedule time together – and don’t change  plans. Examples: Every Sunday night: call up a girlfriend and catch up on her life. Check in at least once a week or month with different female friends. Send a birthday card to all your girlfriends on their birthdays. Show your girlfriend(s) how much their friendship means to you – be the kind of friend you’d love to have!

2. Make plans with girlfriends in advance. Monthly Book Club, an upcoming concert or sports event, a trip together. Plan ahead and balance your schedule around it. (See #1!) Sometimes we have to plan far ahead to make arrangements and get on everyone’s schedule. So, plan ahead for some great times with your girlfriends!

3. Multi-task: Spend time together and ‘get stuff done!’ Run, work-out or take a yoga class together. (It will motivate you to get exercising and make it much more fun!) Volunteer together – do good for others and spend time with your favorite BFF(s). Even plan some of your ‘chores’ together – meet to go grocery shopping, go to the garden/home store together and work on home projects together, cook meals ahead of time (together, of course) then split them so you both have meals prepared.

4. Get into a routine. As we mentioned above, call your girlfriends every Sunday afternoon or evening. Plan a girlfriend’s happy hour for the last Friday of the month and book a babysitter in advance. (Then possible share the babysitter with our girlfriend’s kids!) As shared on our Facebook page, some of my girlfriends have a standing girlfriend get-together – aka: “Champagne Tuesday.” (Does that sound fun and like you’d love to hang out with these girlfriends every week?!)

5. Look out for each other. Just like you need some work / life / friendship balance, so do your girlfriends. If your friend is working too much, invite her out to dinner to spend time away from work and with you. Talk about work some but also make the conversations about fun stuff – like reality shows, shoe shopping, upcoming travel plans, etc. If your BFF is a busy, busy mom, hire a babysitter for her and surprise her with a night out with you (and the girls).

Happiness is found in balance. Balancing our time allows us to allot for our needs – working to follow a passion (and affording us the income and free time to enjoy the rest of the hours in our lives), spending time with people we love and maintaining a sane life work balance.

Build some time into your schedule for your girlfriends. It’s important to your happiness. It’s important to the balance of work and life.

Share your girlfriend advice for maintaining a life work balance – and a life friendship balance!

For more girlfriend friendship inspiration from Girlfriendology blogs:

p.s. And … be a friend to Girlfriendology! Share this blog with your girlfriends by clicking the Facebook LIKE button below and also, when you’re on our Facebook page, SHARE IT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS. (Please?!) Thanks girlfriend!

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true friendship

Friendship is …

true friendshipOne of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Per Wikipedia: Friendship is co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans.

There are 15 cities in the U.S. named “Friendship.”

Friendship 7, was an American spacecraft, used by John Glenn to orbit the Earth. says FRIENDSHIP is: 1. the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person’s friendship.
2. a friendly relation or intimacy.
3. friendly feeling or disposition.

Friendship is *kinda* a BIG deal, right?! Actually … it is.

What is FRIENDSHIP to YOU? WHO is a great example of friendship? WHO makes you want to be a better friend? It makes women healthier, happier, less stressed, live longer and feel more beautiful – so Friendship is a BIG deal.

To me, a perfect friend is a combination of the amazing qualities of the beautiful women in my life. The kindness of Julie, thoughtfulness of Terri, inspiration of Cath, Loyal friendship of Barb, support of Judi, and too many others to mention, but each just as valuable to my soul and spirit.

What we control, and what really matters is what kind of friend are we to them? Do we mirror back the positive support and generous nature? Or do we miss opportunities to be the kind of friend we’d like to have?

This relationship that brings happiness to our lives, makes our days brighter and our memories more fun, that warrants quotes and cities and ships and spacecraft and festivals and bracelets to be named after it :), deserves a good effort! Life is short – right? BE A BETTER FRIEND! Here’s some good ‘ole girlfriend advice on it …

The story of women

The Story of Women (Hint: You’re in it!)

The story of womenThere is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
Maya Angelou

About eight years ago, two girlfriends had cancer. I was scared, mad, lost, so I started a blog to put words around my feelings and my female friendships. That’s where this blog, aka: this story, began – for me. My untold story of friendship that I felt needed to be told.

Each of us has a story. Friends that contribute to the storyline, the humor, wisdom, voices. Chapters of stories, experiences, lessons, and happy and sad memories. Every women helps write the words that become voices in our heads and words on our pages.

This past weekend, I traveled. I indulged myself in a book that was instrumental in the beginning of Girlfriendology. I haven’t read it in a few years but it remains one of my favorite books of all times and inspiring when it comes to a great story about girlfriends.

QUICK synopsis: Eight women gather every Thursday night to drink wine, share their stories, and basically ‘do life’ together. One night, a glass of wine crashed as did one of the women who had ‘an untold story’ inside of her. Huddled together on the floor, they realized that this situation called for something extraordinary. Without a hesitation or plan, they leave in the night and start walking. Days and stories later, the media pick up on the ‘pilgrimage’ and the nation becomes enthralled with what they’re up to. The walk and stories continue as each woman tells her story and moves forward in her life in ways she wouldn’t have without their walk together.

I’ll leave it there so you can read the great words of author KRIS RADISH in her first novel, THE ELEGANT GATHERING OF WHITE SNOWS. It’s a beautiful book that inspired me when I was launching Girlfriendology. (And, Kris totally shocked me by agreeing to be my first podcast and live video interviews. Such a great writer and woman!)

Reading this story again, brought me back to that place eight years ago where my girlfriends were dealing with cancer, my life was different, and I began Girlfriendology as a love story about female friendship.

The beautiful thing about girlfriends, they all contribute to our stories. Their voices whisper to us when we’re uncertain of what to do or who we are. Their words give us strength and courage. Their wisdom and hope become ours.

You’re in the stories being written in each of your friends’ lives. Your friendships shape the stories your children will write and how they value friendship. Together, we’re writing the life stories that need to be told, that connect us to each other, that give our lives worth and memories.

Want to be reminded of that? Read ‘The Elegant Gathering of White Snows,” by Kris Radish. (Or other great stories she’s written!) Then share your story with a friend and listen as she reciprocates.

Thanks for being part of our story!!!



friendship, girlfriends

friendship, girlfriendsFriendship … is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.

Muhammad Ali
I’m often asked about how you make and keep friends. I’m not necessarily the expert or best friend, but I have learned a thing or two after eight years of Girlfriendology and encouraging, observing friendships … they don’t just happen. You have to help.
It’s been months. A quick text. A tried attempt to get together but one of us was traveling or busy. No more spontaneous nights on the front porch, overlooking the neighbors and sharing a glass or two of wine. Do you have friends like that?
We were neighbors who became friends. We checked on each others’ home when we were out of town, ate dinners together, walked through the hidden pathways of our wonderful neighborhood, shared our lives each step of the way.
She was the friend I called when my life changed and the ambulance arrived. She was there when I had to get the house ready to sell and who actually delivered the news that it sold in one day. She was there to help me look for a new home and to make sure I was okay.
But life is busy. Flights have rerouted the friendship. Work, commitments, relationships. Things happened that kept us from spending time together. At least temporarily.
Tonight at dinner was finally our chance to catch up. It was awesome to share our adventures and challenges. We laughed, vented, confessed, caught up. The regular ‘stuff’ that girlfriends do when they get back together … the special girlfriends who pick up where they left off and who make the effort to keep a friendship alive.
Is that the secret to friendships? Maybe it is. Maybe it’s the effort of staying in touch. Of caring where the other is in their life – work, relationships, dreams. That’s what you do, right?!, when you have a friend who is worth the time to invest in a friendship that extends past the neighborhood borders and even when addresses and life change.
Want friends? BE A FRIEND. It’s totally up to you.
Who do you need to call? Make dinner plans with? Book a flight to go visit? Spend more time showing her you’re interested in her life than a simple Facebook ‘like’?
Life is short girlfriends. Be the kind of friend you’d like to have. Make the effort. No doubt you’ll have dinner someday with an old friend who means the world to you, and you’ll smile at the memories of sharing your lives … all because you made the effort to make and keep a friends. Enjoy friends. Life is good – with friends!

Irish blessing

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Blessings, BFFs and New Beginnings

Happy St. Patrick’s Day girlfriend!

Irish blessingGotta love the holiday that celebrates joy and silliness! (Have you seen the fake green eyelashes, flashing shamrock earrings and silly green outfits?! Believe me, they’re out there – just check out your local Irish pub!) Also, you have to love a holiday where, for one day, we’re all the same heritage – either authentically Irish or adopted into the green clan of funny-speaking leprechauns!

My BFF Julie shared this Irish Blessing that fits into our message here on Girlfriendology:

Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireas na daoine.  — People live in one another’s shelter.

So today, while you’re ‘wearing of the green’ and possibly meeting up with friends for some green beer, or even just playing little St. Patrick’s Day tricks on your kids*, be mindful of the people in your life whose shelter you share. Think about the blessings of the day – spending time with friends, being silly, enjoying a holiday where you get to pinch each other or pretend your name starts with an O’. Be grateful for a holiday that takes a normal day and turns into a fun celebration with friends.

We love girlfriend traditions and these two are just for St. Patrick’s Day

* My girlfriend Kleta’s silly family St. Patrick’s Day tradition is to hide green food coloring under the cereal. When the milk turned magically green, she’d swear it was the elves. She still does it – even when they’re now in high school and on to her silly green tradition!

My BFF Terri’s St. Patrick’s Day tradition is to send me and some of her friends the same St. Patty’s Day joke EVERY YEAR. (And we all love it!) What’s Irish and stays out all night? (Patty O’Furniture!) (Thanks Terri!) And, yes, it could be St. Paddy’s day too :)

home happiness quote“A comfortable home is a great source of happiness.”
Sydney Smith

And one last blessing and ‘new beginning.’ A year from today I closed on a “comfortable home” for just me and the pets. It’s been a wild journey over the past couple years and I could not have made it if not for my girlfriends. I’m happy to have a home where my friends will always be welcome. A home where I’ve welcomed girlfriends and good friends for the past 12 months – and made memories with new and old friends that I will forever cherish.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Girlfriends! Wear your greenest outfit or accessories and go enjoy some time with your girlfriends – Irish or not!

More on Girlfriendology:

Random acts of kindness

Celebrate & Practice Random Acts of Kindness Week (all over the world!)

Random acts of kindnessRemember the Coca-cola ad from this year’s Super Bowl? The soft drink accidentally spilled onto internet servers and suddenly all the mean social comments became ‘sweet’ and kind. (See below.)

That random act of advertising is being lived out this week as February 9-15 is designated as Random Acts of Kindness Week, aka: #RAKweek2015. The goal is to flood social media with kindness, actually random acts of kindness. Why not start with your friends, right?

Per this article on kindness … researchers have shown that generosity is contagious. Goodness spurs goodness, they found: A single act can influence dozens more.

Let’s try it out – let’s practice acts of random kindness this week (and any week) toward our friends – or even those we don’t even know.

Here’s a few ideas …

* Caffeinated Kindness – It’s very simple, yet can make someone’s day. Pay for the car behind you in the drive through lane. Make their grande with a simple gesture of generosity and kindness.

* Text or Tweet your Kindness – Long distance or local, a tweet or text can make someone’s day. Like in the Coke commercial, a short message can be powerful and something as kind as ‘there’s no one like u’ or ‘you’re beautiful’ or ‘i love u’ or any sweet tweet can make her day.

* Facebook your beautiful Face – with a dear friend and acknowledge her friendship. Share a #TBT (Throwback Thursday) of an old photo with an old friend and remind her of the good times you’ve spent together.

How will you celebrate this week of Random Acts of Kindness? How will you make your friends (and others) feel special, loved, appreciated? Try it. And may the kindness of others make your week too!