Santa (and your girlfriends) want you to have a Happy Holiday!

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or whatever your winter holiday celebration, girlfriend advice is always in season and a welcome ‘gift‘ especially when it can help with the hectic holidays. After all, female friendship reduces stress and makes us healthier and happier. So, especially at this time of the year, girlfriend advice is a ‘gift’ - and, for that, we’re thankful!

Our Girlfriendology Girlfriend Guru, MARY ANN LOWRY, has some great girlfriend advice for us to help make our holidays happy and our friendships strong:

Seasons Greetings Girlfriends,

With the financial crisis hitting many of you smack in the heart of the holiday season, this involves some tough stuff for my girlfriends, who happen to be Moms.

One of the big questions that you may be dealing with is the Santa Clause issue. When I was raising my boys,  I wanted to keep the magic of “Santa Clause” alive as long as I could. With the video set and the cameras ready,  we gave our boys the all clear and they raced down the stairs to see what Santa Clause brought them. One year they were more intrigued with the boxes then they did with the actual gifts themselves…..with their imaginations they can turn most anything into a toy.

Santa will still visit your house this year, but financial limitations may make a difference in what comes down the chimney at your house. I bet some of you are asking, “How can I be “kid friendly” candid with my children and let them know in some way that Santa may not be so generous?”  None of us want to be dishonest with your children, if you celebrate Christmas.   Santa Clause has been around for all my 50+ years of celebrating Christmas. Remind yourself that Santa represents the spirit of giving and not the spirit of spending yourself into debt.

I’ll share advice that I give my girlfriends, who are active concerned Moms. It’s important to be as honest as possible with your kids in a manner that’s age appropriate. Perhaps it would work, if you told them that  Santa might not be able to bring everything on their list, because there are a lot of children who need extra special help this year. You might explain that Santa wants to make sure that all children get presents, even though their Moms or Dads have lost their jobs.

Red Envelope gifts for girlfriends

If your child has his heart set on a gift or has to have the latest “American Girl Doll” or whatever is considered the “It Toy”; perhaps you could find it by checking for used toys or going to discount big bulk stores. After you’ve tried frugal strategies to get the gift and still can’t afford it without going into debt,  go for another toy of choice.

It’s so tempting to use credit to make Christmas special for your children. However, it’s the gift of  Christmas is adding to your children’s memory bank. When the bill hits your home in January or February, the magic of Christmas is over and then you may feel stressed to make ends meet.

Girlfriends, it’s really not necessary. Ask yourself this question when determining whether to overextend to buy a great toy for your children, “The only way our children will feel that they’ve got a great Christmas is if they receive  this or that present from Santa.”  Is this absolutely true? Without the “Weeping Chatting Charisma Doll, my poor daughter will have an awful Christmas! Are you really sure that is true???

If your answer is “Yes”. Then ask yourself if you would give the same advice to a friend. Would you tell your girlfriends that they have to go into debt in order to provide their children with a great Christmas? If the answer to that question is “No”, then it is not necessarily an absolute truth.

That’s my all time favorite test for decisions. Would I give this same advice to my friend? That usually gives me an indicator of whether or not, I’m putting a great deal of unnecessary pressure on myself. Feel free to ask me more questions on dealing with the reality of lack of funds and buying gifts for your children or the impact that this will have on their feelings for Santa Clause. Your suggestions and ideas are also welcome. Raising great kids involves a village approach. We all learn new ways to deal with parenting concerns from each other.

Happy Holidays Girlfriends!

Mary Ann

Mommy Wisdom Girlfriend

Mary Ann Lowry is a family life coach. Her coaching passion is helping Women with life, career, work and fitting the Mom Role in the mix. She is a Martha Beck Certified Coach and was just accepted in the Martha Beck Master Coach Training Program for 2009. She has a Master’s in Special Ed. and is currently an educational consultant and an ADHD Coach, as well. However, her favorite job in the whole world, being Brent and Ross’ Mom, is ongoing and keeps getting better. Her girlfriends are truly the living angels God put on her path and make this native Texan appreciate her life in California.

Thanks Mary Ann! That’s great advice – whenever you’re unsure of what to do, what advice would you give your girlfriend? Use this approach to being a friend to yourself and to others.

How are you handling these holidays? Any girlfriend advice for others? Want some girlfriend advice? Post your questions or thoughts below and we’ll get through this holiday (and life) together. Thanks girlfriends!

Additional articles on/by Mary Ann Lowry – Girlfriendology podcast interview of Mary Ann Lowry and meet our Mommy Girlfriend Guru.