The Faux Diet Queen (or as we affectionately call her, FDQ) has agreed to share her latest (and last) weight loss journey with us as a regular feature at Girlfriendology. We hope you’ll join us to cheer her on, nudge her back on track when she strays, and generally giggle along.

This week the FDQ is trying (once again) to be more realistic about how she thinks about food. Clearly, this is not something that can be accomplished in one week!

I have a closet full of clothes. I have clothes in pretty much every style that has come and gone over the last umpteen years, in every size ever manufactured on any continent, and in colors that range from “fab” to “should never, ever see the light of day.”

I have clothes that I have worn to shreds still taking up precious real estate in my home. I have clothes that still have the store tags on them. I have clothes in sizes so small it would be unhealthy to ever be able wear again (and even if I EVER got that small the styles are so outdated as to be laughable), but I can’t bring myself to part with them on the off-chance that I might become a miniature version of myself just as the fashion trends swing retro.

It is probably time to get rid of a few some a bunch a good percentage of the things in my closet.

It is also probably time to get rid of some of the excess nonsense hanging in my head.

As I have mentioned before, I have Food Issues. Not only do I have food baggage, I have a Creative Brain. Which means I can talk myself into believing I can eat pretty much anything at any time and not gain weight. Unfortunately, my hips have not memorized all of my crazy food beliefs. Which means I really do need to get rid of them. The beliefs and the oversized hips.

Here are ten more of my wonderful fabulous inventive ridiculous food beliefs.

1. If no one sees you eat it, there are no calories. It just plain doesn’t count.
2. If you drink Diet Coke, it offsets the rest of the calories for the meal.
3. Wine is a fruit. So is strawberry jam.
4. When you are eating your child’s leftovers, you are somehow doing good things for starving children.
5. When you eat your child’s leftovers, you are saving them from overeating.
6. When you eat your child’s leftovers, you’re making sure the food doesn’t go to waste so the calories don’t count.
7. If you share your food, the endorphins from feeling good about sharing will overpower the calories and you won’t gain weight.
8. Dark chocolate has antioxidants, so more must be better.­
9. If you can make a good joke about the food, you’ll stay thin.
10. The average woman gains about 5lbs a year. I’ve always been an overachiever.

So there they are. Ten more of the rationalizations I’ve used over the years to justify chopping down on whatever struck my fancy (or my plate). Getting rid of some of these is hard. Really hard. Even though I know they are a wee bit somewhat completely ridiculous, they are fun and comforting and friendly. But like clothes that I’ll never wear again, it is time to let them go.

The Faux Diet Queen is a Girlfriend and a Half, trying to find her Skinny Self. She wishes everyone a happy 2012 as she re-launches her weight loss journey.

What food beliefs do you have that you’re trying to let go? What tricks are you using to re-align how you look at food? And how on earth do you get rid of things in your closet?? Help the FDQ and all the rest of us by leaving your tips and tricks below in the comments section!

Girlfriendology / Debba here: We love our girlfriends no matter what size jeans they wear or what the scales tell them if they’re brave enough to get on them. (Something I personally avoid like the plague.) But, we also want our girlfriends to be around and healthy for a long time. We’re sharing this journey that our girlfriend, FDQ (the FAB Faux Diet Queen) because it’s what girlfriends do – we go through life and diets together (and shoe shopping, and highs and lows …). Join us on her journey to fitness and good health. We’re excited for her to motivate and inspire us all!

Here’s some more Faux Diet Queen ‘adventures’. Stop back next Friday for the next installment!

• Year End Interview — Girlfriendology Talks to the Faux Diet Queen
• Diet Re-Launch for the New Year
• ‘Tis the Night Before New Year — A Story
• Water, water everywhere – Pass the Chardonnay
• The Faux Diet Queen Talks Turkey / Thanksgiving
• Beliefs I need to Ditch – Food Baggage
• Meet the Faux Diet Queen
• I Hate the Scale and the Scale Hates Me
• The FDQ Faces the Great Cookie Onslaught–Advice Needed!
• Food Pushers and Food Police

p.s. If your food stories fall into a more serious topic, like emotional eating, we’ve got a great girlfriend for you to meet too – ELLEN SHUMAN. She’s shared great advice on emotional eating on various guest blogs and podcasts. (Her podcast on emotional eating is our #1 listened to interview so lots of us have some emotional eating issues or friends/family who do.)

Tags: #FDQ, chocolate, cleaning out the closet, clothes, Faux Diet Queen, food beliefs, funny, losing weight, Weight loss

This entry was posted on Friday, January 20th, 2012 at 4:47 pm and is filed under Be a Better FRIEND, Girlfriend Advice and Reviews, Health and Fitness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.