The Faux Diet Queen (or as we affectionately call her, FDQ) has agreed to share her latest (and last) weight loss journey with us as a regular Friday feature at Girlfriendology. We hope you’ll join us to cheer her on, nudge her back on track when she strays, and generally giggle along.

We all have our New Year’s traditions. For our own Faux Diet Queen, New Year’s Eve is a time to reflect on the past year, look forward to the new year, and spend time with girlfriends. This year she shares a poem she composed. She doesn’t have a title for it, so we’re asking you to help–What are your suggestions for a title for the FDQ’s poem?

‘Tis the night before New Year
And I’m glad I can say
Each Girlfriend is happy
Just in her own way.

Joanie is singing
(But not Auld Lang Syne)
Ellen is chiming along,
And that’s fine.

Mary is thinking about
What she’ll do
In 2012, ‘cause she’d like
Something new.

Resolutions are ‘it’ for
Elaina and Mac.
They swear they’ll move on
And they’re not looking back.

Sarah is hoping she’ll get a new job
For Markie her haircut will be a new bob
Alice now swears she won’t dress like a slob
And Laura embraces them all with a sob.

Then heads turn to me
And their eyes pop out wide
The glances go up
And then slip side to side.

“Faux,” they cry loudly
Don’t act like a clown
It’s time to stop eating
All food not nailed down.

It’s time to get over this
love affair now.
We know it’s not easy,
but we know you know how.

Put down the cookies,
Put down the pie
Put down the sushi
Ignore the stir fry.

Skip over the bread,
And the cute little rolls,
Move on past the soups
In their colorful bowls.

Don’t touch the brisket,
Potatoes, or ham
Say ‘no’ to the lobster,
The quiche, and the lamb.

Walk past the liquor,
Walk past the wine,
Do this for YOU
It’s your health on the line.

Ease by the veggies
Coated in butter.
Stay with us, Faux,
You’re beginning to mutter.

Groove past the truffles,
And caramelized pear.
Slink by the cupcakes,
Now you’re almost there.

We know you can do it!
And in your own style.
We want you around for
A mighty long while.”

It’s the night before New Year
We’ve gathered for fun
To share some more time
Before this year is done.

So hello to This Year
And goodbye to That
May you all reach your goals
And may I lose my fat.

The Faux Diet Queen is a Girlfriend and a Half, trying to find her Skinny Self. She wishes everyone a happy 2012 as she re-launches her weight loss journey.

Girlfriendology / Debba here: We love our girlfriends no matter what size jeans they wear or what the scales tell them if they’re brave enough to get on them. (Something I personally avoid like the plague.) But, we also want our girlfriends to be around and healthy for a long time. We’re sharing this journey that our girlfriend, FDQ (the FAB Faux Diet Queen) because it’s what girlfriends do – we go through life and diets together (and shoe shopping, and highs and lows …). Join us on her journey to fitness and good health. We’re excited for her to motivate and inspire us all!

Here’s some more Faux Diet Queen ‘adventures’. Stop back next Friday for the next installment!

• Water, water everywhere – Pass the Chardonnay
• The Faux Diet Queen Talks Turkey / Thanksgiving
• Beliefs I need to Ditch – Food Baggage
• Meet the Faux Diet Queen
• I Hate the Scale and the Scale Hates Me
• The FDQ Faces the Great Cookie Onslaught–Advice Needed!
• Food Pushers and Food Police

p.s. If your food stories fall into a more serious topic, like emotional eating, we’ve got a great girlfriend for you to meet too – ELLEN SHUMAN. She’s shared great advice on emotional eating on various guest blogs and podcasts. (Her podcast on emotional eating is our #1 listened to interview so lots of us have some emotional eating issues or friends/family who do.)

Tags: #FDQ, diet plans, Faux Diet Queen, girlfriend party ideas, New Year, New Year's resolution, new years eve

This entry was posted on Friday, December 30th, 2011 at 11:01 am and is filed under Be a Better FRIEND, Girlfriend Advice and Reviews, Health and Fitness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.