Are you a StepMom? Or to do you share your children with a StepMom? We’ve got great Girlfriend Advice for StepMoms from CafeSmom …

Today on BlogTalkRadio/Girlfriendology we’re talking with StepMom HEATHER HETCHLER about her insights, information and inspiration for StepMoms. Heather founded CafeSmom – an online community for StepMoms to help these girlfriends connect and support each other. And, in that same spirit of helping StepMoms, Heather shares the following guest blog:

The StepMom Compass
Guest Blog by Heather Hetchler

The job of a compass is to help the owner navigate their way. Like the explorers who rely on the accuracy of a compass to get them safely to their destination, stepmoms seek help in maneuvering the unchartered waters of stepfamily living in search of peace.

While stepmoms don’t have a physical device that tells us which “roads” to take and which “roads” to avoid, we do have tools to help us find the harmony we are searching for in our blended family.

The stepmom’s compass has four cardinal points;

N – Not Taking Things Personally
While not always easy, choose to head North, always taking the high road. You can’t control what others say to or about you but you can control what you do with it. Remember that hurting people, hurt others and often if someone in your circle of life is saying toxic things about you it is out of their unresolved pain and not about you.

It’s hard not to take things personally but it is possible.

S – Self-Care Isn’t Selfish, It’s Survival
Your mood won’t go South when you take time to care for you. As both a nurse and a stepmom, not to mention the other roles you play, you spend so much time and energy caring for others. You’ve got to invest time in nurturing both yourself and your marriage.

Think about what re-energizes you physically, emotionally and spiritually. Make time for each item on your list. (Our note: we’re thinking some girlfriend time re-energizes you!)

E – Eliminate Expectations
Eastbound on your journey, you know that the majority of frustration comes from unmet expectations. Simply put, life rarely measures up to the expectations we set for it. Stepfamily life is dynamic, to say the least, and the one thing you can count on is that you can’t count on anything to go as planned. Set boundaries with your stepkids but not expectations.

W – Work At Creating A Support System. Good Girlfriends Make a Difference!
Moving West, you need to connect with other postive thinking stepmoms and girlfriends. There is such strength in knowing you are not alone in your feelings or your experiences as a stepmother. Seek out and connect with other stepmoms either locally or through online groups who offer positive support. The understanding and encouragement is priceless. And having non stepmom girlfriends who listen, validate and encourage you is also a gift to cherish!

Use your stepmom compass to find the peace you are seeking. These four points will help you focus on your blessings and minimize the unavoidable pot holes along the way.

Heather Hetchler is the mom of four and custodial StepMom of two who helps StepMoms thrive in their role as the heart of their blended family. She is the Founder of www.CafeSmom.com where she brings positive resources, inspiration, and support to stepmothers.  As a StepMom Coach, her passion is to help stepmothers define their own positive path and to connect StepMoms, helping them feel empowered on their journey. Heather is the host of the StepMom Connection on MomTv.com. She is a contributing writer for StepMom Magazine, and speaks to groups to share her message of hope for StepFamlies. She resides in Cleveland with her husband and six kids.

Join us TODAY at 2-2:30pm ET on BlogTalkRadio/Girlfriendology as we talking with StepMom HEATHER HETCHLER about her insights, information and inspiration for StepMoms.

Tags: blended families, blended family, blogtalkradio, girlfriend advice, heather hetchler, step-moms, stepkids, stepmom

This entry was posted on Friday, August 26th, 2011 at 7:21 am and is filed under Be a Better FRIEND, FAMILY Life - relationships, mom advice, Girlfriend Advice and Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.