Do you have ‘a village?’ A community or group of women who support you? Who celebrate your successes and encourage you when things might not being going the right way?

All of us need friends. (Dah! That’s why there’s Girlfriendology!) They’re the amazing ‘angels’ who know us completely and still love us. Who are there for us with just what we need, just when we need it. They’re the ‘girlfriend therapy’ that keeps us sane and reminds us who we really are – not ‘Mom,’ ‘Sweetie’ or ‘Mrs./Dr. ___’ but by Julie or Judi or who we really are.

Today’s guest blog shares a wonderful story of support and encouragement – by a group of women who’ve never met in person. Enjoy!

My girlfriends taught me about the village

by Christine W

In January 2007, I met a group of women online, all of whom had a child born in September 2006. They were part of an expecting club on IVillage.com; after the children are born, the expecting clubs turn into playgroups. Although my son Brody wasn’t due to arrive until mid-October 2006, he made his appearance on September 1, 2006. Luckily for me, that meant that I would join this particular group of women on the September 2006 playgroup. Even though I joined late, when my son Brody was five months old, I was welcomed into their fold.

We call our children SFs, short for sunflowers. After about two years, we moved away from IVillage, and friended each other on Facebook. By sheer accident, a few months ago, a group of the 66 of us was formed on Facebook of just the SF moms (and one dad). It’s a secret group, and no one sees our posts but us. (We’ve googled to make sure). It’s …. It’s like a permanent happy hour. We confide our secrets, share our joys, vent our frustrations, celebrate our victories, discuss sex, illnesses, in-laws, mahjong, knitting and money, and even, on occasion, share parenting tips and advice for our SFs. We are from all across the United States and Canada, and we are composed of all incomes, ages, marital statuses, sexual orientations, educational backgrounds, religions, and political parties. We have shared the ends of marriages and the beginnings of new love. We witnessed one SF lose his battle with cancer at the age of two. We have watched, with much teasing and joy, one of us become a grandmother.

There have been SF “playdates” over the years, during which several of the SF moms meet in a central location, in person, and the SFs have played together. Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to attend these playdates (but we do have plans!)

My second son, Liam, was born in December 2010. He turned dusky immediately after birth due to fluid in his lungs. He was transferred immediately to the NICU. He stabilized after a couple of days and was, we thought, fine. Then, on the fourth day, when I was supposed to come home with him, the hospital performed a renal scan of him (our older son Brody has Vacterl association, has had 14 surgeries, and has only one kidney). During the renal scan, they discovered a blood clot in Liam’s aorta. Liam was immediately put on IV blood thinners. He stayed in the NICU for just over 2 weeks. Finally, he came home. Recently, at a follow-up appointment with the hematologist, we discovered that the clot on Liam’s aorta is, in fact, growing. He is now on a blood thinner that we inject into his thighs twice a day for at least the next 3 months. The cost to us – after insurance – is $624.30 for a two-week supply. To add to this dilemma, we had just used up all of our savings to pay for 8 weeks of unpaid maternity leave after Liam was born.

I posted to the group the bad news about Liam’s growing clot and the extraordinary cost of the medicine. I wondered if anyone had good garage sale tips or fund-raising ideas. I was thinking about those candles I’ve seen sold, or the chocolate bars or something. And then these girlfriends of mine got involved.

One of them, Amanda, a representative of ThirtyOne gifts, offered to donate all of her profits from a special sale to our cause. Then Jess randomly suggested opening an Etsy store, selling homemade, handmade items, and giving Liam the proceeds. Soon, Sarah, Kim, and Jess formed a sub-Facebook group called Little Liam Loves, and suddenly there was an actual, bona-fide shop on Etsy. That was March 13. Since then, they have made and donated their works of art, emailed pictures to a centralized email, then the three designee administrators of the shop post the items, and keep track of sales in the spreadsheet open to everyone in the Facebook group. When an item sells, an email with a shipping address and shipping money is sent to the maker of the item via Paypal, and then that woman ships the item to the buyer. The Grand Opening was two weeks ago; thanks to their promotions on Twitter and Facebook and email, 73 items have sold and 79 items are still for sale. They have raised over $1000 for us.

I have never met these women. They don’t know me “in real life.” For goodness sakes, I stumbled upon this group of women purely by the randomness of our children’s birth month, which, by the way, Brody was not even scheduled to be born in. And yet, there they are, behind us, holding us up, devoting their time, energy and resources, not to mention money. The posts in the Little Liam Loves Facebook group average several a day: ideas for new products, new promotions, compliments on the items for sale. One girlfriend’s father has started making handmade wooden flutes for sale, another one’s mom has sewn tote bags and purses for sale; one SF mom sewed items for sale when she was nine months pregnant, just days before she gave birth.

This group of women is extraordinary. Not only are they organized, but there has not been one single dispute, about anything. Just incredible enthusiasm, creativity, support and love. For me, for Liam. It is a remarkable experience to have friendships with women I’ve never met. I am blessed to call these women my friends, and they should be publicly lauded as the truly selfless, devoted, miraculous girlfriends that they are.

Author Christine: After four miscarriages and hundreds of thousands of tears, I gave birth to my son Brody. After Brody’s birth, I joined an online playgroup to share the trials and tribulations of motherhood. Four years later, just when we thought we were out of miracles, I became pregnant and gave birth to my son Liam. Liam developed a blood clot on his aorta that required extraordinary medical treatment. That’s when my girlfriends saved us.

Wow. Thanks Christine for sharing! Thanks Christine’s (& Liam’s) village, aka: girlfriends, for demonstrating the love of friends, that doesn’t require we live nearby or even meet. We applaud each one of you for being there for Christine and for each other!

(Don’t forget to check out the ‘Little Liam Loves’ Etsy store!)

Do you have a ‘village’ girlfriend? Do you have a wonderful group of women who support each other? Or a girlfriend who has been there for you?

Don’t go another day without showing your girlfriend gratitude!

Share it on our Facebook/Girlfriendology page. Write a guest blog for Girlfriendology. Call her up and tell her. Send a card, a ’sweet tweet,’ or tell the whole Facebook world how thankful you are for your friend(s). Don’t miss the chance to find, join, appreciate a village of amazing ‘angels’ (aka: girlfriends). Life is better, together with your girlfriends!

Tags: etsy, girlfriends, guest blog, guest blogging, ivillage, takes a village, Women, women helping women

This entry was posted on Monday, May 16th, 2011 at 8:03 am and is filed under Be a Better FRIEND, Girlfriend Advice and Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.