What would we do without Authentic Female Friends?
What would you do without your friends?
I don’t even like to think about that! Following is a guest blog by Susan Shapiro Barash (bestselling relationship author!), our upcoming guest on this week’s Girlfriendology BlogTalkRadio show.
What would we do without our Authentic Female Friends?
There are few women of any age or stage in their lives who don’t crave happy, successful ‘best’ friendships. After all, we use that very phrase, ‘best friend’ to describe this person, whether we’re 20, 35 or 60. This strong identification we have with other women starts early in our lives, and lasts a lifetime. For every step we take, we have a group of close friends, with whom we identify and share our milestones — college, marriage, children, grandchildren -the joy and sorrows of life. Who understands you better than your friend whose experiences so closely mirror your own? Who will listen to you ad nauseum and offer solutions better than your female friends?
We place so much importance on these bonds and have such high hopes. When a female friend fails us, it’s not only devastating, but confusing and unsettling. This kind of incident makes us question who this friend was and more significantly, who were you to the friend? Because for all of our expectations of our friends, we also have to be an authentic friend in return.
These close friendships are more important today, in the 2lst century, than ever before. Our mothers and grandmothers hadn’t as much access to or leisure time for their friends, nor did they live as long. Not only do we seek out different friends for different reasons, but they are available as never before – via cell phone, text messages, group emails and facebook. To this end, we have designated friends — the friend who will go the gym with you, the friend who loves shopping, the friend in your book club or theatre group, the friends we make through our children.
So how do we discern the authentic friend, and how do we give back in a way that’s meaningful? Some women say that finding the authentic friend is similar to meeting the right guy – and to this end, we often imbue a person with qualities that she may not have. But if we listen up and pay attention, and if we take the time to understand our friend’s situation, the chances of knowing her appreciating her will become apparent. What we’re looking for in our authentic friend is someone who is truly empathetic, dependable, with the same values and impeccable loyalty.
SUSAN SHAPIRO BARASH is the author of ten previous books (most recently: Toxic Friends: The Antidote for Women Stuck in Complicated Friendships and teaches gender studies at Marymount Manhattan College. As a well recognized gender expert, she is frequently sought out by newspapers, television shows, and radio programs to comment on women’s issues. She lives in New York City.
Thanks Susan! I’m so looking forward to our interview with you on Friday, October 30th, 2:00pm EST on BlogTalkRadio. (Girlfriends – Make sure you all call in with your questions!)
Tags: Author, blogtalkradio, friendships, relationships, susan shapiro barash
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