TIP TUESDAY: Need your Girlfriend Advice
“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”
I did a little research on this well-known phrase. The Phrase Finder says:
Meaning
It is sometimes suggested that this phrase means ’someone who needs your help becomes friendly in order to obtain it’ … Most people understand it to mean, ‘someone who helps you when you are in need is a true friend‘.
Origin
A version of this proverb was known by the 3rd century BC. Quintus Ennius wrote: ‘Amicu certus in re incerta cernitur’. This translates from the Latin as ‘a sure friend is known when in difficulty‘.
Personally, my version is “a friend, when you’re in need, is a true friend.” That a valued friend will be there for you when the road gets bumpy or as Oprah Winfrey put it “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
So, here’s where I need your ‘girlfriend advice.’
My friend Becky is in need. Her husband is terminal and she’s preparing for the worst for herself and her sweet husband. (Their blog shares this terribly sad yet inspiring story.) As a friend, I want to do whatever I can for her and am prepared to clear my schedule at a moment’s notice. I want to lessen her pain, although I know that isn’t possible.
I’ve shared a little about this friendship and her situation on Twitter and received some great advice on how to be a good friend to a ‘friend in need’ including:
OSG@Girlfriendology how about interviewing husband of his life. Simple things he likes and remembers from growing. I still cherish my dads.
AuthorToniBlake@Girlfriendology Maybe give her a good, uplifting book or two to read? Sounds simple, but reading can be a great escape from troubles.
Gypsy_Butterfly@Girlfriendology Chocolate, even if, it’s just a temporary pick me up. Will keep her & her husband in my thoughts & prayers.
eedwards@Girlfriendology Hm. She needs a break. She needs to feel strong and in control. If cancer, get her and hubby to The Wellness Community.
TheZaftigLife@Girlfriendology Prayer/meditation and yoga or Pilates. my heart goes out to her.
commkel@Girlfriendology What about chocolate and flowers?
Or, as Jeannie (a Twitter friend) wrote me about losing her husband:
“I love him. You can’t take that away. He loves me. You cant take that away either. No matter how long its been or how many other loves you have. You love everyone in a way that is as unique as a fingerprint.”
Thanks for these great words of women’s wisdom as well as touching story. What are your words of wisdom? How can I and her other girlfriends be there for her? What have you done for others, or others have done for you?
How can we, as girlfriends, be a friend to a friend in need?
p.s. We’ve brought back “TIP TUESDAY” – our weekly sharing of girlfriend advice, women’s wisdom, and way of helping make each other’s lives just a little better. Join us on our Facebook fan page (or add comments below) on what topics you’d like to have covered on Tip Tuesday.
Oprah Image via Wikipedia
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Tags: friendship, girlfriend, oprah, Oprah Winfrey, relationships, twitter
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Take her out for a meal, or bring one over. If they have kids, take the kids out for a few hours. When her husband is gone, remember their wedding anniversary with a card or phone call, as well as his birthday, major holidays–all of the “firsts” of her life without him.
I imagine that she is at the hospital all of the time. Get together with her friends and make her a going to the hospital kit ~ fill a tote or duffel bag with some of the following: a light-weight throw blanket that can rollup easily, an airplane pillow, isotoner-like slippers that she can slip on over socks, books, energy bars, snacks, bottled water, a journal for her to just write or doodle in, file folder carrier so she can arrange all of the medical records and documents and get to them easily, a note pad to take notes on, a pencil case with pens, pencils, etc. hand lotion, aspirin, nail care set, parking structure money or vouchers, see if you can pre pay for cafeteria meals, calling cards, a deck of cards, crossword puzzle book, soduku, word puzzles, minature games (check amazon), hair scrunchies, bobby pins, an mp3 player loaded with meditative soothing music, and anything else that might help her be comfortable while she waits.
1) Another thoughtful thing would be to get together with her friends and family and buy a few hours of a cleaning service like Merry Maids. The last thing she probably wants to do is clean her house.
2) If she has kids ~ arrange with neighbors and friends and family a schedule to pick up kids and take to activities, pick up from school, and feed dinner. Each person can take one night a week or if there are more people maybe 1 of every 14 days. Or some people drop of freezable meals and others do the car pooling. Obviously someone has to be the point person to make sure it is all happening.
3) Offer to sit doen and help her organize all of the medical records, insurance forms and bills etc. ~ this can be daunting and very complicated she would probably be so grateful for the help.
4) Offer to be the person who updates her contacts with status updates on her husband.
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