Hope your National Women’s Friendship Month is going well! Are you spending lots of time with your girlfriends?!

Well, you might want to spend more time with a long-lost friend after reading this guest blog by Christy Abram from her Lipstick and Powersuits blog :

Ego, the Path to Self-sabotage

By Christy Abram

In my early twenties I was wild and reckless; as most are. I still blush at the mere thought of the things I would do. At that time my excuse was, “I had kids young. I’m going to live my life.” How immature was I? I clubbed every night, welcomed any man with a pulse into my life and neglected those closest to me. My blatant disregard caused me to lose some really special people. Like most, I didn’t realize it then. To be honest, I was so wild and out of control, most things I do not remember. How embarrassing is it, having someone from your past approach you and you do not recall who they are? My best friend, would tell me constantly, how destructive my behavior was. I never listened, so she walked away. I was extremely affected by her decision. I tried calling and stopping by but she never answered. 10 years had gone by and I have never stop thinking about my dear friend. As a matter of fact, I even tried to find her a couple of times, to no avail. Finally, I gave up and accepted the fact I lost my closest friend.

Not long ago, while checking my email. I came across a Facebook friend request, with her name attached to it. I was elated! I instantly approved the request and sent her a message. “Friend is that you?” I said, “Yep, it’s me!” she replied. I was overwhelmed by emotion. I asked her for her number, so that we could catch up. She obliged. We spoke for a brief moment before I asked where she now lived. She gave me her address and I rushed over to see her. As I knocked on the door, I was welcomed by a little girl closely resembling her. In the foreground I heard a familiar voice calling, “Come in.” We hugged for what seemed like an eternity.

As we reminisced, she told me of her reasoning for letting me go. My dear friend told me, “The people you were letting in your life were just not affecting you but me as well. I had to let you go.” I took in her words and appreciated her for her decision, for I too would do the same. The ironic thing was she had just returned to Washington from down south a couple of years prior and I had returned three weeks earlier. It was no accident that she found me at this junction in my life. The crazy thing was I had just thought of her the day before (pay attention to inspired thought people!). I had an epiphany. I realized I had never lost her friendship; she’d just given me time to grow.

Most of us look at separation as rejection and carry it around with us like luggage. The truth of the matter is with separation comes development. My good friend Myra always tells me, ”When we are together in the physical, spiritually we are not. Separation makes it possible for our spiritual relationships to grow.” This is true. We’ve all heard of long lost loves finding each other after decades to live out the rest of their days together.

No matter the relationship, separation doesn’t mean dismissal, it merely enhances personal growth. Stop and take a good look at your life. Could there possibly be someone in your corner (friend, relative or colleague) that may be trying to tell you something? Are you paying attention or listening with closed ears? If so, get out of your ego. Let’s examine what your ego is. Ego is, self importance, the way you think others perceive you. When you are in your ego what you’re really saying is, “Don’t judge me, I care what you think and I demand that same attention!” Sometimes we think so highly of ourselves we don’t value those who truly matter. Wake up, there may be a message there, giving you the opportunity to evolve. On the other hand – some of us would rather learn it the hard way. If you’re reading this message, you now know the difference. Look inward. If you can relate on any level, take the necessary steps toward consciousness. Don’t wait ten years for the light bulb to turn on. You just might lose someone you love.

Thanks Christy! (And check out her Lipstick and Powersuits blog!)

Do you have a friend who honestly addresses issues in your life? (And, with whom, you’re allowed to do the same?) Have you lost friends due to their or your ‘needing to grow’? Perhaps it is time to reconnect. Maybe it’s time to forgive and move forward in your friendship.

Celebrate National Women’s Friendship Month by spending time with the amazing women who bless your life.

Then come back to Girlfriendology and share. You’ll inspire others and help us in our goal of making the world a better place – one friendship at a time!

Tags: ego, Facebook, friendship, girlfriends, national women's friendship, women's friendship month

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 17th, 2009 at 6:45 am and is filed under Be a Better FRIEND. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.