Debba

Hi Tom,

Thanks for your note and for stopping by Girlfriendology. You’re always welcome here!

There is a difference in male/female and female/female relationships. I’ve researched the bond between females (great book – The Tending Instinct, by Shelley S. Taylor). For one thing, biologically we’re different. Our hormones and how they make us respond when under stress are just part of the picture. Our ‘nature’ is different – we’re generally more collaborative and less competitive than men. (I know, there are exceptions for every generalization but we’re looking at the majority of people/responses.) Women are more likely to bond – look eye to eye, talk about just ’stuff’ or really important things in our lives. We like to just hang out with our friends and those bonds make us healthier, happier, less stressed, live longer and feel more beautiful.

Men are more task-oriented and transactional. While women can window shop, men are more the ‘go in and buy and leave’ kind. Male friendships usually need a purpose – working on a project, a car, a house. Women don’t need this.

So, we’re just different. I definitely think there are men who are more social and relate very well with women. My husband is one of them – he’ll be the guy in the kitchen at a party talking recipes with the women. (He’s fortunately the chef in our house.) Do I need girlfriends more than a husband? No. But I definitely wouldn’t be a very good wife if I didn’t allow myself some girlfriend time – I’d be more stressed, boring and unhappy.

So, again, stick around and feel free to comment. If you read that book, please let me know your thoughts.

Thanks so much for commenting! Debba / Girlfriendology