Getting Unstuck | Advice from Girlfriend Ekene Onu | The New Girlfriendology | Be a Better Friend | Inspiration, Girlfriends, Friendship, Girlfriend Gifts

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be. ~Grandma Moses

Sometimes it feels good to take a moment and do nothing. Other times we end up doing nothing because we’re stuck–sort of like being struck with a magic spell that won’t let us move–and that doesn’t feel good at all.

Guest blogger EKENE ONU understands the difficulties of being stuck, and offers wonderful girlfriend advice for shaking off that feeling of being paralyzed to move forward into your best today.

Sometimes in life we find ourselves stuck, like a frozen computer screen. Then we do what most people do when they have completed a great deal of work and are afraid to lose it by rebooting the computer, you just keep hitting the same keys over and over and screaming in frustration when it doesn’t work.

We do that in life. Sometimes we find ourselves frozen in a state that is less than optimal. Relationship isn’t working, career isn’t on track, bodies are unwell, life is out of balance, and we keep doing the same things over and over and getting upset when we keep receiving the same reaction. We feel trapped in the cycle because we are afraid to do anything else, because what if we lose all the work we have already put in?

I have good news and bad news…

I’ll give you the bad news first. No matter how much work you have put in, keeping your life in a negative pattern only hurts you. You have to hit the refresh button. You have to reload your life. And yes, you may have some losses. Yes, things may not return to what you know as normal, but you need to refresh, to move forward, otherwise you will be stuck in that loop until you are consumed with it. This is what happens for example when you see men or women who have stayed locked in a negative relationship pattern for years and never refreshed; then later even after the relationship is over (for various reasons) they still remain so bitter.

Here’s the good news. When you hit the refresh button in your life, you will have a new normal. New options, new ideas. And new courage. New confidence. Because you did something you were afraid to do and that is powerful.

So many of us are stuck, maybe you are in a job you know you hate. It drains you every day and you feel as if it is toxic. Maybe it is time to honestly create an opportunity for change. I have a client who finally made the leap to move from one city to another and go for her purpose of starting a business. Is she scared? Probably. Will she make it? Probably. Even if she doesn’t initially, the fact that she took this step means that she is on her way to the life she wants and deserves.

I once worked with a client who was in a terrible relationship with a married man. When she shared the details with me, I couldn’t understand why she continued to stay in the relationship, but we continued to work together and finally she got it, she got the fact that the only way out of this life that she had created was to hit refresh, to reboot her life. And yes, it meant she had to give up some financial comforts, and yes it meant she was now alone in her thirties, but it also meant that she had taken charge of her own ship and was back in control of her life. She hit rock bottom, but the good thing about rock bottom is that there is only one way to go, up! And up she is headed.

Sometimes you have to take drastic action to change your situation. You can’t change the past, but you can’t let the past change you and your future. You have got to take hold of yourself and hit that button. Because guess what, you deserve to live an awesome, rocking life. And I am not just saying that, it is true.

No one can rob you of your joy, happiness, and peace, but you have to take back control of your life and start living.

If you are stuck, here are three quick ways to hit the refresh button.

Make an honest assessment of where you are. Take responsibility. Get real with yourself. Have a girlfriend moment with your soul and hear the truth spoken in love.
Determine to change and take the steps necessary to create that change.
Prepare for resistance, pain, or fear. These are all part of the process, so don’t let it stop you. Keep it moving, girlfriend! Soon you will be marching through to your success.

So if you are stuck, here’s to you. Stop struggling around in the quicksand of life. Make a decision, take simple but consistent steps to move forward, and watch your life transform!

Be well, girlfriends! Be well.

EKENE ONU is a passionate writer, speaker and lifestyle strategist who helps women live fully. Having spent several years working as a community pharmacist, she leverages her counseling skills as well as her talent for connecting with people to facilitate transformational change in her clients. Ekene left pharmacy and stepped into a new life and has experienced refreshing change in her life and desires to see others live refreshing, fabulous lives. Find her at www.refreshwithekene.com.

What do you do to refresh your life, girlfriend?

By the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!)

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