Fab friend and girlfriend Guru AMANDA WHITWORTH is thinking about/wishing for/working to have a baby. This month she offers some great girlfriend advice for women in her situation. Her blog started us thinking…isn’t this great advice for pretty much everything we want that we can’t entirely control? For things that take longer than 24 hours to have?
Whether your trying to have a baby, get a new job, lead a healthier lifestyle, (fill in your own goal here), we think this is great advice. You go girlfriend!
It’s funny, you spend most of your life trying not to get pregnant and once you decide that the time is right and begin trying, it can be difficult, heart-wrenching, and at times, exhausting.
I told myself I’d never be the woman, you know the one, who charts, calculates, tracks, and takes all the fun out of baby making. Well, that didn’t last long because truth is, all my friends are having babies and I want one too.
My husband and I haven’t been trying for all that long really, but what I’ve realized is the more you want something and try to make it happen, the more frustrating and difficult it can be. I’ve always been impatient; I want what I want right now and I’ve always tried to force things but when it comes to baby making, you really can only do so much. The rest is left to luck I guess.
Every month I’m reminded of that scene in one of my favorite movies, She’s Having a Baby, when Kristy and Jake have been trying to get pregnant and Kristy has resorted to checking her temperature every day and screams down to an exhausted Jake yelling something to the notion of ‘Jake…I’m ready.’ A look of dread spreads across Jakes face as a slowly makes his way upstairs to ‘get to work.’ When did trying to have a baby become work?
As each year passes and I find myself one year older, I am unfortunately reminded of that loud and obnoxious clock dinging in my ear taunting me by whispering, ‘time is running out Amanda.’ As if it isn’t already painfully clear to me?
Every time I find myself checking Facebook I am overwhelmed with sonogram photos, pregnancy and baby sex announcements, and photos of growing bellies, and my heart sinks a little further into my stomach. I try hard to not feel jealous and be to just happy for all the expecting parents out there but it’s hard. I’m human, and I am a woman who wants a baby, and wanted it yesterday.
So what do you do when all your friends are having babies and you want one desperately? Well, all I can do is offer up the advice I am trying to follow. It helps, most of the time.
- Try to relax. I know, I know. Easier said than done but studies have shown that stress directly correlates with interfering with fertility. What do I do to relax? I practice yoga, I exercise, I bake, and take our puppies outside to play.
- Meditate. I meditate on the image of me holding my future baby. You might think that would contribute to more stress but actually, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in side plus, the mind is a very powerful thing and who knows, thinking of images of you with your baby just may help!
- Think about all the fun things you get to do while still baby-free. I try to stay present and think about the fact that one day it won’t be just my husband and me anymore. Right now we can come and go as we please, pack up the truck and go camping for a couple nights, fly across the world staying wherever whenever, and we get to focus 100% uninterrupted attention on each other for the time being.
- Take the pressure off yourself. I want a baby. There is no question about that but I’m not going to beat myself up about it anymore. It will happen when it does. I truly believe that.
- Last but not least, try to get back to having fun and stop making it work.
AMANDA WHITWORTH is the gal behind Bullfrogs and Bulldogs. Bullfrogs and Bulldogs is the story of her life on the family vineyard and finding her way from her former life as a city girl to her new one in the country. Join her as she discusses life on the farm, DIY projects around her lovely 1970 home, fun vegan and gluten free recipes, and all things pertaining to farm life! She is also on Facebook and Twitter.
Check out Amanda’s previous post – some things you can only get from a girlfriend.
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