Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.

Hans Christian Anderson

It’s tough when you have to give up something you love. But when you have to give up something you love that’s your business–that’s a whole different mess.

Girlfriend Guru CHRISTY HOVLAND knows all about that. Today, she shares her story and shares some great advice for those of us who have pregnant girlfriends. (Christy – all of us here at Girlfriendology hope you’re feeling better and up to returning to chocolate soon!)

I  had to take a sabbatical from my chocolate-covered life for a month when I found out that my husband and I are expecting a Christmas baby. It’s very exciting for our family of four to be expanding to a family of five. Alas, God has a very funny sense of humor and one of my pregnancy aversions has been to ** gasp ** chocolate.

If you’ve never had a pregnancy aversion, let me tell you about them … there are things (usually food) that when smelled, seen, or eaten make you want to run for the hills.

My taste for chocolate has slowly been coming back and I expect I’ll be back in the swing of things this month. In the meantime, I thought I’d share with you, my girlfriends from afar, five things you can do for your mother-to-be girlfriends.

Many first trimesters go very smoothly with only a few symptoms … but for other mothers-to-be, like me, the first trimester is one of the hardest times in our lives.  We spend our days staying near a bathroom for the next bout of morning sickness, all while continuing to run our families, fix dinner, clean the house, and continue our careers. I added up the months of morning sickness between all of my pregnancies and I have officially been nauseous for an entire year of my life.

I have many friends who don’t share that they are expecting until after the 12-week mark. I have others who share their news with a few special friends and then I have others who tell everyone right from the beginning. Whatever the case, when you discover your girlfriend is expecting, here are some great ways to show your support.

1.  Make your girlfriend a kit of all-natural anti-nausea remedies.  Include some wonderful ginger candies, ginger ale, a toothbrush, Sea bands, tic tacs, and a get-well card. Wrap it up in a basket with a bow. Even if they don’t make the nausea go away, the thought will mean so much.

2.   If she has children, offer to take her kiddos for a play date or to the park … if she is suffering the effects of morning sickness even an hour of downtime will be appreciated. I have been ever so grateful for last minute calls of, “We’re going to the park. Can your kids come?”

3.  Don’t hold it against her if she just can’t come play. It’s hard when you’re feeling so ill and you just can’t make girls night. Cut her some slack and maybe offer to drop off some dinner instead.

4.  Questions that should just be off-limits are:

“Was this planned?”

Whether it was planned or not, she’s going to answer this question a million times.  Cut her some slack and just don’t ask.

“How are you going to handle everything?”

I’m pretty sure if you’re asking, she has no idea either.

“Are you going to breastfeed?”

It’s a little early to be worrying about this, it’s a loaded question and it’s very invasive.  Unless you can be supportive either way and you’re very, very close, this question is best avoided.

5.  The advice of your mother rings especially true for your girlfriend, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.”

My “favorite” assumption this time has been about my Christmas baby. I’m due the day after Christmas, so there is a very real possibility that I will spend the holidays in Labor and Delivery at the hospital. I’ve had many people tell me that having a baby at Christmas is “mean” and “my poor baby won’t have a birthday.” I was born a week before Christmas and I love my birthday, so please don’t make the assumption that the child will be birthday deprived. Even if my baby is born on Christmas, we’ll have some wonderful celebrations for him (or her). A baby is a blessing anytime of the year – even when born on a holiday.

CHRISTY HOVLAND is a professional chocolatier and owner of Cherry Street Chocolates. After years of owning her own award-winning marketing consulting firm, Christy decided it was time to follow her passion and her love of all things chocolate. She currently lives in Colorado with her husband (Steve), two children (Britton and Ella), a dog (Lacey), two cats (Misty and Spit), and a frog. You can also find her at the Chocolate Inspires blog.

Thanks Christy! And, again – good luck in your pregnancy. Here’s another Chocolate-inspired post by Christy:

• Five Reasons to Eat Chocolate Everyday (gotta love that!)

By the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!)

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