The best way for a woman to have happy thoughts is to count her blessings and not her cash.  ~Author Unknown (our version!)

Money Baggage. The first time I heard this phrase, all I could picture were suitcases filled with money. Kind of like a virtual ransom payoff. Mmmm…..

We each carry around all sorts of emotional baggage. Some of it is helpful (like the memories of grandma’s special meals); some of it less helpful. It turns out, most of us carry baggage about money–without even knowing we do.

Girlfriend Guru and financial expert MIATA EDOGA shares some tips for uncovering the things that drive our spending habits and ways to counter that baggage.

I was working with a friend recently. Jane was frustrated about her inability to save money.

“It just slips through my fingers like water. One minute it’s there, the next it’s gone.”

Does this describe you?

We started talking about Jane’s past. How she’d grown up. What her parents were like. How they spent money.

That was how we stumbled on her answer.

Not surprisingly, in Jane’s past, she’d learned to equate spending money with good feelings. She was a spender because it gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling.

No longer.

Walk Yourself Through Your Spending Patterns

We started thinking about when and where she felt best around buying: walking into Starbucks. Buying gifts.

“Now I think that my brain is playing tricks on me. I’d have fun buying presents in the past, but I’d use a credit card for the purchases. Using a card started giving me the same warm, fuzzy feeling. Ouch.”

Ouch is right. That transference is dangerous, but happens all the time. Retailers like that feeling!

Ask This Question

What’s in your past?

It probably won’t take a hypnotist to help you realize that feelings from the past can often affect how you’re spending money today.

If we want to feel needed, we’ll often buy things for other people. If we don’t want to appear cheap, we’ll overcompensate by offering to pay for everything when out socializing with friends. Often this is because we’ve somehow transferred the thought that money equals either happiness or love.

Both of these, of course, are false.

An exercise:

1) Ask yourself this: am I a spender or saver?

2) What about my past created my current spender/saver habit?

3) Were these habits formed unconsciously? Where have they led me?

4) Is this how I want to spend money? If not, what can I do to remind myself?

5) How do I build on habits that make me successful with money?

By consciously anchoring your beliefs, you can gain real power over the way that you spend and save money. You’ll be able to put bad habits in check and take control of your money…and by extension, take control of your dreams.