Friends for a reason, friends for a season, friends for life. Wonderful women come into our lives for all kinds of durations and events. They make us laugh, they keep us company in good times and bad, and when we’re really lucky they help us be better people.
Today’s guest bloggers, JOYCE SCHAFERS and DANA DA PONTE share a wonderful story about how their friendship has made them each better people. And how they are now helping other women in ways only real girlfriends can.
There’s a quote by Anais Nin that explains how each new friendship births a world within us, a world that cannot possibly be realized until that friend arrives in our lives. That’s what happened in our friendship but it wasn’t just a world that was birthed; when we met, the doorway to our divinity was opened. Our names are Dana da Ponte and Joyce Schafers, and our story of friendship became a story of enlightenment.
The first sign that our friendship would lead us to new spiritual depths was when we quickly moved past the surface of things and instead connected on a deep and profound level. We soon realized there was something unique about our conversations. As best friends, we didn’t get together to talk about how to make the best pot roast or to brag about our latest purchase or to discuss where to buy jeans that would make our ass look like a twenty-year-old’s. We didn’t even get together to gossip. Instead, our conversations were always raw, deep, and forced us to cut through our own bullshit. They looked a little something like this:
…You’re mad at your husband…what’s really going on sister? He’s just a reflection of YOU. What is he reflecting? I don’t want to talk about how you are right and he is wrong but I will help you see why what he is doing or not doing is triggering you so much.
…You hate your body do you? Do you really need a skinny body to feel happy? And if you do, how’s that working for you? Instead of relentlessly trying to change your body, why don’t we sip our wine and discuss the real cause of your struggle with weight? I’m not interested in discussing the next fad diet and how much you think it will work. I’m only interested in talking about why you are hell-bent on attacking yourself in the first place because from where I sit, you are a beautiful spark of the divine so why aren’t you treating yourself like the precious gem you are. Maybe once you do, your struggle with weight will finally disappear.
…You are in love with a man who is dismissing you AGAIN. Sure he’s obviously not that into you but let’s open another bottle of wine while we figure out why you are once again attracting the same character in your life. He may have a hotter body and a cuter smile but he’s the same type of guy as the last one and the one before that. Yeah, of course your hormones are on fire. But can you trust your hormones? Or are they programmed to lust over the same character over and over again. Can you see how you are using this character as a way to attack yourself?
And that’s how our friendship was formed…with a mutual desire to see the spiritual solution behind our worldly woes.
But this was often easier said than done. We were moms living in the Alberta prairies so remaining committed to our spiritual goals wasn’t always easy. We were surrounded by oil, money, and the culture this brings. Also, our desire to be fully present in our roles as mothers prevented us from jetting off to explore our spirituality whenever and wherever we wanted to. We became spiritual seekers learning to practice in a modern and often, spiritually backwards world. Luckily, our friendship became our ashram and our conversations always led us back to truth, without fail. In a way, we became each other’s guru.
We remained steadfast friends through the years and supported one another through all the ups and downs. Our conversations and our mutual love of A Course in Miracles eventually taught us that all our problems, from wanting more passion in our marriage to becoming a better parent to healing the wounds of divorce or wanting to lose weight, had the same cause…they were all rooted in the belief we are separate from God. That one tiny mad idea had created a world full of problems.
Eventually we came to see that, whether it is our past or society or the nature of the human experience, a deep groove had been carved into our minds teaching us to search for God anywhere but where God really is…within me and within you.
We vowed to pull each other out of that deep groove whenever we happened to fall back into it. From that moment on, it was like our friendship grew wings and soared us high above the insanity of this world and placed us gently back in God’s arms.
Our story is just one small testament to the power of sisterhood but we share it to honor the magic that can happen when one friend loves another with all her heart. When a friend offers that kind of love, she sees right past your flaws and straight to your divine spark. And when she bears witness to it over and over again, you eventually start to see it too.
JOYCE SCHAFERS and DANA DA PONTE hold affordable virtual conversations/classes at www.girlfriendgurus.com. If ever you feel like you need to work a problem out, they’d be happy to help you turn your personal issue into a spiritual opportunity. Your first class is always free. They would also love for you to stop by and say hi at https://www.facebook.com/GirlfriendGurus.
By the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!)
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