“Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.” Unknown

You know how sometimes you and a girlfriend see the exact same thing and yet describe it completely differently? We decided it would be fun to send two of our fab friends out together and have them both write about the experience. We sent Nutrition Guru LISA MCDANIEL BROWN and the ever hilarious FAUX DIET QUEEN out to a local Whole Foods grocery store to see what would happen. Not only did the Faux Diet Queen (FDQ to her friends) learn something a bit more than she ever thought she could, they had a great time (no surprise there).

Yesterday, Lisa gave us her version of their Whole Foods adventure. Today, the Faux Diet Queen shares her version of the Whole Foods Tour.

Last Sunday one of the World’s Greatest Kids and I met girlfriend guru Lisa McDaniel Brown for a tour of Whole Foods.

Pretty much there are only two foods I refuse to even THINK about eating: tongue (I don’t like tasting anything that can taste me back) and kale (due to an unfortunate introduction to kale when I was expecting Kid #1, I can’t even hear the word without my tummy turning over).

So of course, the first thing Lisa wants us to fall in love with is kale. Seriously? Kale? I’d pretty much rather eat toenails.

I whined. Lisa talked about the health benefits of kale. I fussed. Lisa pointed out that the only time I’d ever tried kale was 17 years ago when I was pregnant. I protested. Lisa looked pointedly at the Kid. Beaten, we bought kale.

Note: Lisa gave us a recipe for a green smoothie. Turns out if you bury a leaf or two of kale in a whole lot of other fabulous ingredients, you can’t even taste the darn thing. I don’t hate kale when I can’t taste it!

After we picked up a bunch of truly yummy looking fruits and veggies, we moved into the bulk food area. Lisa introduced us to two brand new foods: goji berries and chia seeds. (Yes, they are the same adorable little seeds that are used in chia pets, and yes, I started singing ch-ch-ch-chia.) Chia seeds are fun in salads and smoothies and cold cereal, and while I remember that they are really good for you, I don’t actually remember why. Goji berries are my new favorite food. They are a super food, they taste good, and they make me not have to eat everything in the entire house. In my world, that’s magic!

Lisa talked about reading labels. She taught us about the Evils of Ingredients We Can’t Pronounce. She explained about the ridiculously high amount of sugar in so many popular foods. (No matter what I said, I couldn’t convince Lisa that sugar and Twinkies are Very Important Food Groups.)

Then we hit the peanut butter section (not really a section of the store as much as a section of the shelf). Guess what’s in most peanut butter? Peanuts, sugar, and stuff we can’t pronounce. But the stuff we can’t pronounce is what holds peanut butter together and prevents it from being Peanut Oil Sitting On Top of Something That Used to Resemble Creamy Peanut Butter. Lisa talked about the virtues of real peanut butter. I talked about the virtues of expedited PB&J construction. Lisa gave me a pointed look. I gave her a Look which trumped her pointed look. She moved on (but not before the Kid grabbed a jar of chocolate peanut butter).

In the chocolate section (Lisa was smart enough not to scoot by that part entirely), we learned about the different levels of cocoa and the difference between the good stuff (because in my world, all chocolate is good) and the good-and-good-for-you stuff. LOVE that there really good reasons to eat chocolate (not that I need a “good reason,” but it’s nice knowing there is one).

An hour later, we had a cart full of healthy food. We’d had fun and learned a ton. (I know we learned a ton because the Kid keeps reminding me). Here are the two biggest lessons I learned:

1. There are all kinds of healthy foods that taste good. Go find the yummy stuff, girlfriend. And skip the icky stuff. Life is much too short to eat something that tastes bad just because someone decided it’s healthy.
2. Like most things, food is better with good friends.

The Faux Diet Queen is a Girlfriend and a Half, trying to find her Skinny Self. When she is not recording her weight loss journey from the bottom of a bag of chocolate chips goji berries, she is constantly on the search for ways to improve the trip back to her smaller jeans. You can join her for a cup of coffee here on Girlfriendology almost every Friday.

Any Girlfriend Advice on eating Healthy? SHARE!

Girlfriendology / Debba here: We love our girlfriends no matter what size jeans they wear or what the scales tell them if they’re brave enough to get on them. (Something I personally avoid like the plague.) But, we also want our girlfriends to be around and healthy for a long time. We’re sharing this journey that our girlfriend, FDQ (the FAB Faux Diet Queen) because it’s what girlfriends do – we go through life and diet together (and shoe shopping, and highs and lows …). Join us on her journey to fitness and good health. We’re excited for her to motivate and inspire us all!

“Listen to your gut, girlfriend. You are smarter than you know.” -the Faux Diet Queen

Here’s some more Faux Diet Queen ‘adventures.’ Stop back next Friday for the next installment!

• Cell Phones, Brownies and Trusting Yourself
• How to Make Oreo Pops | Recipe and Story
• Eating for the Holidays
• How NOT to help a Dieter
• Coffee Commentary
• Top Ten Reasons I Can Believe I’m Beautiful | Food Free Thoughts
• Top Ten Reasons Chocolate is Good
• New Math, Funny Calories, and Food Labels
• Rituals, Coffee Time, and Me
• Valentine’s Day | Non-fattening Ideas
• It’s a Cinch—Sort of | Diet Review
• I am Ashamed of Myself | Confession and Resolve
• Food Beliefs I Have to Ditch Part II – More Food Baggage
• Year End Interview — Girlfriendology Talks to the Faux Diet Queen
• Diet Re-Launch for the New Year
• ‘Tis the Night Before New Year — A Story
• Water, water everywhere – Pass the Chardonnay
• The Faux Diet Queen Talks Turkey / Thanksgiving
• Beliefs I need to Ditch – Food Baggage
• Meet the Faux Diet Queen
• I Hate the Scale and the Scale Hates Me
• The FDQ Faces the Great Cookie Onslaught–Advice Needed!
• Food Pushers and Food Police