Girlfriendology was founded as a source of female friendship inspiration for ALL WOMEN. No matter what you wear, who you hang out with, your political views, if you’re a Mom or not … I created Girlfriendology to be for all women regardless of our similarities or differences.
As much as that was and is the goal, it’s not easy to do. We tend to put labels on people. We still find ourselves hanging out with people who vote, dress, worship and think the way we do. So, when we run into a subject that we don’t agree on – we’re SURE we’re right. But what if we’re unsure?
Girlfriend Guru LISA SARICK reminds us about the importance of being UNSURE …
I used to think I knew what everyone else should do, and how they should do it. Al-Anon helped cure me of that – which was helpful for me to find contentment while married to a drinking alcoholic. It has also helped me in my current marriage (not to an alcoholic), business partnerships, collaborations, and friendships. I’m not so sure anymore. What a gift that is for those around me! And what a relief for me, to not have to bear the weight of needing to be right, or trying to fix or convince or save anyone.
I’ve seen friendships in my circles dissolve over differences. All it took was one person being absolutely certain of their point of view, which was in opposition to another’s. It was not the differing ideas or views that were the problem – it was the certainty.
A great business collaboration broke up in front of me when one woman held tightly to her view that another had been “mean” and “wronged” a third party. She decided she was a “shark” and could see her in no other light after that (even when the third, “wronged”, party was not saying that). These three women friends, part of a larger collaborative circle, could no longer work together. Now only one remains as part of the group.
I watched recently as a friend posted something expressing her support of gay marriage on Facebook. Another friend misread her post and “unfriended” her, thinking she was slandering gay people. In a second post trying to apologize and explain, my friend referred to those opposed to same-sex unions as “narrow-minded.” She then had to apologize to a friend of hers who commented that she is against gay marriage because of her religious beliefs but is NOT narrow-minded.
- Can we have friends who are pro-same-sex-marriage if it goes against our religious beliefs?
- Can we eat at a meat-eater’s house if we’re vegan?
- Can we accept a girlfriend in a seemingly bad relationship?
I think we can if our hearts and minds are open.
If we’re not positive that we are right and that our way is the only way. If we can apply our standards just to ourselves – and even then be flexible with them. Girlfriends are intuitive. They FEEL judged if you’re judgmental – even if it’s toward yourself. And definitely if you’re thinking they are wrong.
- What if you weren’t sure of the answers?
- What if you admitted to not knowing what to do sometimes?
- What if you not only tolerated but also accepted and loved the “other”?
Well, I’m not sure… but I think we could be friends with vegans, meat-eaters, Christians, yogis, Jews, shamans, liberals, republicans, gays, straights, moms, singles, and our ex’s partner (just examples of some of my girlfriends, if I had to label them).
I’ll admit I’m not perfect at keeping my judgment at bay or befriending everyone. I have not had the challenge of a friend who is pro-hydrofracking… but when I meet her I’ll try to give the gift of being unsure.
LISA SARICK (A.K.A. Rev. Lisa) is an Interfaith Minister, Yoga Instructor, and Spiritual Guide. She guides people seeking peace to go beyond the limits of their minds to the freedom of their spirit. She holds 1-on-1 sessions, officiates ceremonies, and founded Moon Circle, an online gathering for women friends. Her home on the web is LisaSarick.com.
How do you keep an open mind girlfriend?
- Helping Girlfriends Move Forward
- Birthday Ritual Celebration Ideas
- Moon Circle | A Girlfriend Love Story
- Advice for little Girlfriends | 10 Things They Need to Know
By the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!)
Sign up for our weekly newsletter and get our FREE eBook ‘30 Days / 30 Ways to Be a Better Friend‘ - check it out!
More to check out – Facebook.com/Girlfriendology and @Girlfriendology (Twitter) where we’re connecting with over 50,000 women and Pinterest.com/Girlfriendology where we share visual inspiration and great quotes. (& our Pinterest Marketing site: Pinfriendology.com.) More Girlfriend Friendship Quotes. THANKS to our BIG 2012 sponsor – Biz Stain Fighter. And – Thanks to YOU Girlfriend!