Our wonderful friend, the Faux Diet Queen (FDQ as we often call her), usually has disasters of the food and kitchen variety. This week, our silly friend had a technology encounter. Like many of us, she loves technology–when it works properly without her having to think about it). When there are hiccups (or in this case a full fledged breakdown), she unravels pretty quickly.
How do you handle technology mishaps girlfriend? Do you turn to brownies the way the FDQ does?
I had an Electronic Communication Device breakdown this weekend.
Now on some level, I understand that it is possible to live without a cell phone for extended periods of time. After all, we did it prior to the invention of the darn things. Yet somehow, in today’s world, being disconnected for so much as 30 seconds seems technologically intolerable.
After putting off The Inevitable for a day or two, I broke down and called Technical Support of my Highly Reputable Phone Service Provider. You know the type of call—choose 1 for a problem you don’t have, choose 2 for a problem you will never have, choose 3 to choose the problems you don’t have in a different language, choose 4 to hear the menu again.
You know what happens next, right? I start punching “0” and simultaneously screaming “operator” into the phone. Which apparently is code for “please frustrate me more” because the system kept saying, “I’m sorry, that is not a recognizable option. Please press 1…”
Eventually I got through to an agent who swore she’d put me through to a technical support person if only I would explain to HER what my issues were. She must have heard the edge of hysteria in my voice when I told her – in no uncertain terms – that I had no interest in telling her my issues and she better just connect me to a technician because the next thing I knew I was talking to “Alice.”
Alice had a fondness for reading the script that says, “I understand your frustration and will be happy to fix that for you.”
Alice apparently had not been taught the meaning of any of those words.
Forty-five enjoyable minutes later, Alice promised she had fixed two of the three problems (turned out she’d only fixed one) and swore up, down, and sideways that Problem Number Three was either that my SIM card was dead or my phone was working improperly and that the only solution was to go to the Store where they could determine the problem. (Translation: I have no idea what is wrong and I need to get you off the line so that my call time numbers don’t suffer.)
I knew she was wrong. I just knew it. I was sure there was a setting on my phone that had gone katywampus and just needed to be fixed. I knew this down to my toes despite the fact that I am someone of a techno-ignorant person.
But since I wished to retain the small semblance of sanity I usually carry around with me, I hung up on Alice and headed to the Store.
After waiting half an hour (it was a gorgeous weekend day. What were these people doing hanging out in a techno retail establishment when they could have been home playing video games?), I finally met with Bill. Bill is relatively young—like about 12—which means he had the genetic makeup to fix my problems. (At least the ones relating to my cell phone.)
Why am I telling you all this?
So often, we doubt ourselves. We get told something that we know in our heart of hearts just isn’t right. And instead of getting a second opinion or trusting our gut, we follow what we KNOW is bad advice.
Listen to your gut, girlfriend. You are smarter than you know.
And when that inner voice tells you to eat the last brownie (or two or three), eat them without guilt and enjoy every molecule of wonderful chocolate fudgy richness. Because that voice inside you knows best.
The Faux Diet Queen is a Girlfriend and a Half, trying to find her Skinny Self. When she is not recording her weight loss journey from the bottom of a bag of chocolate chips, she is constantly on the search for ways to improve the trip back to her smaller jeans. You can usually find her here on Fridays–or on her cell phone now that it is working properly.
What are your tricks for keeping sane, girlfriend?
Girlfriendology / Debba here: We love our girlfriends no matter what size jeans they wear or what the scales tell them if they’re brave enough to get on them. (Something I personally avoid like the plague.) But, we also want our girlfriends to be around and healthy for a long time. We’re sharing this journey that our girlfriend, FDQ (the FAB Faux Diet Queen) because it’s what girlfriends do – we go through life and diet together (and shoe shopping, and highs and lows …). Join us on her journey to fitness and good health. We’re excited for her to motivate and inspire us all!
“Listen to your gut, girlfriend. You are smarter than you know.” -the Faux Diet Queen
Here’s some more Faux Diet Queen ‘adventures.’ Stop back next Friday for the next installment!
- How to Make Oreo Pops | Recipe and Story
- Eating for the Holidays
- How NOT to help a Dieter
- Coffee Commentary
- Top Ten Reasons I Can Believe I’m Beautiful | Food Free Thoughts
- Top Ten Reasons Chocolate is Good
- New Math, Funny Calories, and Food Labels
- Rituals, Coffee Time, and Me
- Valentine’s Day | Non-fattening Ideas
- It’s a Cinch—Sort of | Diet Review
- I am Ashamed of Myself | Confession and Resolve
- Food Beliefs I Have to Ditch Part II – More Food Baggage
- Year End Interview — Girlfriendology Talks to the Faux Diet Queen
- Diet Re-Launch for the New Year
- ‘Tis the Night Before New Year — A Story
- Water, water everywhere – Pass the Chardonnay
- The Faux Diet Queen Talks Turkey / Thanksgiving
- Beliefs I need to Ditch – Food Baggage
- Meet the Faux Diet Queen
- I Hate the Scale and the Scale Hates Me
- The FDQ Faces the Great Cookie Onslaught–Advice Needed!
- Food Pushers and Food Police
By the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!)
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