Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are. Marianne Williamson
With a name like “Chasing Joy” you would think our newest Girlfriend Guru would talk only about happiness, right? Only mostly right.
Meet our new Girlfriend Guru, ARLETT HARTIE, author of the blog Chasing Joy.
Today, she shares with us the contrast of getting together with girlfriends on happy and sad occasions and how to make more room in our lives for the happy times.
I don’t usually like to talk about sad things; I am Chasing Joy after all. But sad things do happen. We can’t just pretend they are not sad. We have to acknowledge the sadness and then go back to Chasing Joy so that we don’t get stuck there.
Recently I had some sad news. Two of my girlfriends each lost a parent in the last two weeks. One lost her father, the other her mother. Very, very sad. As my heart ached for these friends I also had a different kind of thought. My thought was that I was glad that the last time I’d seen each of these two friends we were laughing and smiling. The last time I spent time with each of my girlfriends it was a pleasant occasion.
We often get so busy with our day to day lives work, school, children, husbands, parents, etc… that we miss so many opportunities to connect with our girlfriends for happy occasions, fun occasions, or sometimes no occasion at all. It is during sad times that we are reminded that life can move quickly. Busy weeks run into busy weekends into busy months and soon you’re saying “girl, has it been a year since we hung out.” Unless, of course some sad sad event stops you in your tracks and I’m sure you don’t want to get together for that. So, be sure to make time for one another. Pencil in some girlfriend time along with your meetings, play dates, family time, and networking events.
Now, if you are like me you don’t really need to do anything special to have fun with your girlfriends. Good company makes good times, right? But if you need some fun ideas to entice your gal pals away from their to-do lists and mommy duties here are a few:
Your basics:
Me and one of my Best Friends For Life (F4L) getting in girlfriend time at a 5k walk
- Go to dinner
- Meet for a long lunch during a slow work week
- Go to happy hour during a stressful week
- Have a standing brunch date a la Sex in the City
- Make a monthly mani-pedi date
- Hit the mall
- Take in a movie
On a budget:
- Have a potluck party
- Have the girls over for a movie night
- Have your girls bring over their favorite color of polish and have a DIY Spa party
Getting Healthy:
- Set up a weekly or bi-weekly gym date
- Meet at Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, or Wegmans for lunch and then grocery shop for fruit and veggies together
- Sign up for the same Zumba (or other less fun) fitness class
- If you live near each other, plan an after dinner walk a couple times a week
- Sign up to do a 5k walk or run together
Long distance girlfriends:
- Have a twitter party!!! (They’re not just for bloggers.)
- Have a Girls Night In where you all Netflix, DVR, or Redbox the same move and call in to chat and laugh together
- Plan for a yearly girlfriend get away
- Make birthday get- together a priority
There is no shortage of fun, happy excuses for girlfriends to get together. Don’t let life tie you up so much that you only spend time together during the sad times. Don’t miss out on the Joy of Girlfriends getting together.
What are some of your favorite things to do to experience the Joy of Girlfriend get togethers???
ARLETT HARTIE is the author of the blog Chasing Joy. Arlett’s writing focuses on her efforts to find happiness after a rough time in her life, and hold on to it through all of life’s ups and downs. She writes about all things related to joy, positivity, and gratitude. She is a daughter, sister, auntie, and Girlfriend.
How do you make time in your busy schedule for the important friendships in your life? It’s something we all struggle with–share your tips below so we can all become better friends.
By the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!)
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Arlett, this is a good reminder. Whenever a friend asks me to do something – go for a hike, grab a glass of wine, meet for coffee, attend an event – I try to always go, no matter what, no matter how busy I am, even if I think I’m not really into it, because I always have a good time and I think that being game for what your friends want to do is part of being a good friend. I’m not great at planning these things on my own, but when I do, I know how much it means to be to have friends who will enthusiastically jump on board. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with the friends whom I like a lot but are just too, too hard to connect with. Does that ever happen to you?
Sarah (@usalovelist)
This is an awesome piece with very good points and ideas of how girlfriends can come together is very different ways. I have been friends with my BFF since 7th grade and sometimes our busy lives separate us from getting together. I like the ideas that were presented above and may try to implement some of them! Love the article and keep spreading joy!
I so love this piece. I am one of those busy people who has decided to slow down in life and live. many of my girlfriends have moved away to different states and we are always saying hey we need to catch up and when we do it is like we never parted. This is something that all girlfriends should do. It is very uplifting and motivational. Many times when you don’t have girlfriends that live close you have to make way to reach out and you named so many who would not try any of these! Great piece hunni! See ya soon!
I love the fitness ideas for your friends. Often it takes one person to get everyone moving and teaching them how to be a good girlfriend to THEMSELVES! Great piece Arlett.
This post was right-on! I definitely know the importance of my girlfriends in my life and I try to make time for fun with them whenever possible. This reminded me that u can make anytime girlfriend-time! Keep up the great postings!
This is a very touch and poignant piece. I think it’s one of your best to date! Getting together “just because” is so important. I love your reflection about the last time you had seen your girlfriends before their losses they were smiling and happy. I think there is an important lesson in there.
Arlett making time for Girlfriends is SO important. I love that you offered a range of things you can do to reconnect. Being a mom of 3 making time can be difficult but its so therapeutic to chat, laugh, and catch up with friends. Seeing my favorite girls recharges my batteries and gives me much needed support. Thanks for sharing!
Great article Arlett! You hit it right on the nose. I’ve been thinking about putting together a walking group with some moms in my area.
Girlfriends are important.Spending time with the ones you love really makes a difference. I have a few long distance girlfriends and even if I only speak to them a few times a year getting that phone call in or sending a few messages on FB or Twitter make all of the difference. Married, Single, Kids, No kids, it shouldn’t matter…making that time is what’s the most important.
Arlett, Such sound advice. Too often we forget how important our girlfriends are. Love your ideas for ways to spend time together, particularly the long distance once, because the phone and Skype I imagine will get old at some point.
Thanks everyone for commenting. I’m happy my first post here is so well received.
Good Post. I like the options for long distance and close by friends as well as a girl on a budget ideas!
Arlett, great tips! I especially like the idea of a girls night where we all watch the same movie and call in to chat. I have several girlfriends who live in different states from me and this one is an idea I will definitely implement.
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Arlett, this is another great one. So often we do get so busy that we neglect the girlfriend time together. I have a few I’m missing right now and we need a get together. Thanks again for the Joy and Inspiration you spread on a daily basis.