The Faux Diet Queen (or as we affectionately call her, FDQ) has agreed to share her latest (and last) weight loss journey with us as a regular feature at Girlfriendology. We hope you’ll join us to cheer her on, nudge her back on track when she strays, and generally giggle along.
At the start of the new year, we thought it would be a good idea to visit with the Faux Diet Queen and see what was on her mind for 2012. So we sent our intern, let’s call her Leslie, out to meet and interview the ever-inventive FDQ. This may not have been the world’s best idea since when Leslie returned, she grabbed a jar of peanut butter and a spoon, locked herself in the restroom for a week, and only recently slipped a copy of her interview under the door.
Here, minus the peanut butter smudges, is the interview. Or at least the parts we felt we could publish.
Leslie: What will you miss most about 2011? Is there anything that will be hard to say goodbye to?
FDQ: Of course! 2011 was a great year. It will be hard to say goodbye to the tiramisu I had last July. It was absolutely scrumptious and I’m still trying to get it off my hips. It will be hard to say goodbye to the layer of fat on my back. Back fat is really only good in pork, right? But I am having a terrible time convincing it to leave. So yes, that will be hard.
Leslie: Is there anything you won’t miss?
FDQ: I won’t miss the 27 pounds I lost.
Leslie: You lost 27 pounds? That’s fantastic.
FDQ: Unfortunately, I gained 24.
Leslie: oh… How many diets were you on in 2011?
FDQ: Several. Sometimes more than one at a time.
Leslie: Excuse my ignorance, but how can you be on more than one diet at a time?
FDQ: It’s not difficult, but you do have to be extremely organized. For example, first you eat the breakfast from Diet A, then the breakfast from Diet B. Later snack from Diet A, then snack from Diet B. And so on, throughout the day.
Leslie: And you were able to lose weight on two diets?
FDQ: Well, dear, you know what they say: Two diets are better than one.
Leslie: I think the saying is “two heads are better than one.”
FDQ: Mere details. They were probably talking about heads of lettuce. In any event, I can say with certainty that two diets provide more food, more variety, and less hunger than just one. Most importantly, since it’s a diet, it has to be good for you.
Leslie: So you were able to lose weight like that?
FDQ: Who said I lost weight? As I recall, I gained about 18 pounds in 3 weeks.
FDQ: Here, sweetie. Have a cookie. Or two.
Leslie: What can we expect from you in 2012?
FDQ: Hopefully, you can expect less of me. The physical me, I mean. I’ll still be sharing all my food baggage, interesting tidbits I learn from interesting people, and I plan to start answering some of the reader mail that’s started to pile up.
Leslie: Are you planning to follow a specific diet?
FDQ: Several, perhaps! I am very excited about my Second Diet of the Year.
Leslie: Second? Already?
FDQ: Well, yes. My first began at midnight on New Year’s Eve and ended when I woke up and went to brunch. (Delish!)
Leslie: Can you tell us about this Second Diet?
FDQ: I like to refer to it as Diet Deux. It’s new. I’m getting help from a friend. And I’m planning to keep a diary that I’ll share here in this blog.
Leslie: Can you give us a hint?
FDQ: Sure. It involves food. Eating some; not eating others.
Leslie: How do you prepare for a new diet?
FDQ: I usually make sure that all the tempting food is out of the house…
Leslie: You give it away?
FDQ: I eat it. I also like to raise a handful of chocolate chips in a goodbye toast. Hmmmm…toast sounds like a good idea too….
Leslie: ……er….. Anything else you’d like to tell our girlfriends?
FDQ: Happy 2012!
The Faux Diet Queen is a Girlfriend and a Half, trying to find her Skinny Self. She wishes everyone a happy 2012 as she re-launches her weight loss journey.
Editor’s Note: We want to hear about your plans to be healthier in 2012. Add a comment below, use the “Contact” form to send a question, or send a tweet to @girlfriendology. However you do it, let us know what you want to ask or tell the Faux Diet Queen.
Girlfriendology / Debba here: We love our girlfriends no matter what size jeans they wear or what the scales tell them if they’re brave enough to get on them. (Something I personally avoid like the plague.) But, we also want our girlfriends to be around and healthy for a long time. We’re sharing this journey that our girlfriend, FDQ (the FAB Faux Diet Queen) because it’s what girlfriends do – we go through life and diets together (and shoe shopping, and highs and lows …). Join us on her journey to fitness and good health. We’re excited for her to motivate and inspire us all!
Here’s some more Faux Diet Queen ‘adventures’. Stop back next Friday for the next installment!
- Diet Re-Launch for the New Year
- ‘Tis the Night Before New Year — A Story
- Water, water everywhere – Pass the Chardonnay
- The Faux Diet Queen Talks Turkey / Thanksgiving
- Beliefs I need to Ditch – Food Baggage
- Meet the Faux Diet Queen
- I Hate the Scale and the Scale Hates Me
- The FDQ Faces the Great Cookie Onslaught–Advice Needed!
- Food Pushers and Food Police
p.s. If your food stories fall into a more serious topic, like emotional eating, we’ve got a great girlfriend for you to meet too – ELLEN SHUMAN. She’s shared great advice on emotional eating on various guest blogs and podcasts. (Her podcast on emotional eating is our #1 listened to interview so lots of us have some emotional eating issues or friends/family who do.)