The FDQ Faces The Great Cookie Onslaught | Girlfriend Advice Needed

weight loss fdqThis time of year we all attend events where we are confronted with various food options (most of them high calorie options!). Our good friend, the Faux Diet Queen is facing that same challenge in her own home.

The Faux Diet Queen (or as we affectionately call her, FDQ) has agreed to share her latest (and last) weight loss journey with us as a regular feature at Girlfriendology. We hope you’ll join us to cheer her on, nudge her back on track when she strays, and generally giggle along.

And she is desperate for advice. So please, girlfriends, share your experience and your tricks to make it through The Cookie Season.

My daughter has my eyes. She has my hair, and my sense of humor (such as it is). But when they were handing out metabolism, she was clearly at the front of the line saying, “Make mine a double, please” while I was off somewhere having a donut.

Recently, my daughter has been on a baking spree. In the past week or so, we’ve had chocolate chip cookies, rice krispie treats with chocolate, chocolate peanut butter bars, cream puffs with chocolate glaze, and triple chocolate brownies. (Sensing a theme here? Me too.)

I have always done my best to be supportive of the kids. I go to dance recitals that never end, I go to soccer games in the rain—you know the drill. So it should be no surprise that when the kid fills the house with the enticing aroma of gently melted chocolate, I am right there to taste whatever concoction she’s created and tell her how wonderful it is. Two or three times, if necessary. Every day. (See what a good mom I am?)

However, snarfing cookies morning, noon, and night will send my hips bulging outward. And since that’s not the look I’m going for, I decided to ask some friends for strategies to deal with the Great Cookie Onslaught.

Since I have wonderful girlfriends, they were delighted to share their advice and insights with me. Here are some of the gems they gave me:

Just eat one

This may be second funniest piece of advice I’ve ever been given (the first being “clean your house instead”). Personally, I have absolutely No Idea how to eat One Cookie. One lonely, solitary cookie. One dozen, maybe. But one? Get real. (Will it surprise you to know that this advice was given to me by one of my ultra-skinny friends?)

Eat one and then go to the gym

Really? I have no words. Except perhaps “my gym is not open 24 hours a day.” (Do I even have a gym?)

Tell her you’ll try them later

Uh, huh. First of all, YOU try looking into the big eyes of a kid who’s just created a culinary masterpiece and say “no” (I double dare you). Secondly, this completely ignores the problem of the cookies themselves calling to me. “Faux,” they murmur seductively (they can call me Faux because we’re on a first name basis after all these years) “Faux, come try us. No one will see. No one will know. And we are delicious.”

Just eat ‘em. Diet when she’s at college

Or at least when she’s moved beyond this particular fad. (Some friends truly understand me.)

To summarize: I have a house full of cookies and no coping mechanisms. Help! I’m waiting for your advice on how to get through this. (Please? My hips and I are begging…..)

The Faux Diet Queen is a Girlfriend and a Half, trying to find her Skinny Self. She promises to be absolutely truthful in this blog (although she may stretch a point now and then) and to share the good, the bad, and the frustrations of weight-loss.

So what advice do you have for our friend and her battle of the cookies?

Girlfriendology / Debba here: We love our girlfriends no matter what size jeans they wear or what the scales tell them if they’re brave enough to get on them. (Something I personally avoid like the plague.) But, we also want our girlfriends to be around and healthy for a long time. We’re sharing this journey that our girlfriend, FDQ (the FAB Faux Diet Queen) because it’s what girlfriends do – we go through life and diets together (and shoe shopping, and highs and lows …). Join us on her journey to fitness and good health. We’re excited for her to motivate and inspire us all!

Here’s some more Faux Diet Queen ‘adventures’!

p.s. If your food stories fall into a more serious topic, like emotional eating, we’ve got a great girlfriend for you to meet too – ELLEN SHUMAN. She’s shared great advice on emotional eating on various guest blogs and podcasts. (Her podcast on emotional eating is our #1 listened to interview so lots of us have some emotional eating issues or friends/family who do.)


  1. Frankie says

    Well, it IS the holidays and it is better to give joy to others. This would give her great joy to see you loving those cookies. Besides, who cares…who do we need to impress? The advertisers? The undernourished, super skinny friends who insist on tormenting themselves and only have joy when they are sleeping and devouring chocolate cake in their dreams? Merry the cookie…jump on the New Years bandwagon..fa la la la la…la la la la. Besides winter is coming and you need to bulk up in order to keep from freezing to death (like bears). And if you’re in a warm climate…well then you can get outside and go for a walk as you’ll probably be hyped up from the sugar. Either the cookies and be happy. If anyone says anything about it buy a bigger pair of jeans and take the tag out of the smaller pair and add to the new pair. Then you can say.. look, I’m actually losing weight eating cookies. LOL Maybe your skinny friends will fall for it, start eating and gain a few pounds so they can blend in with you instead of you trying to blend in with them. Life’s too short to starve ourselves.

    • Faux Diet Queen says

      Frankie–I LOVE how you think! I absolutely should be eating the cookies. (Note to self: can hibernating like a bear lead to weight loss?). And switching the tags on a pair of jeans is just my kind of self-delusional brilliance. Thanks for your comments, keep your ideas coming, and have a great holiday season. FDQ


  1. [...] In the 1850s, Englishman Joseph Fry was the first person to make solid chocolate. We’re not sure why we didn’t learn about him in High School. Clearly, his invention is much more interesting and practical that learning about someone inventing the cotton gin (and we were too young to suggest cotton gin and tonics). It’s all too clear that men created the curriculum back then. The Faux Diet Queen may not know about Joseph Fry, but she certainly knows about chocolate. Today she shares Ten Reasons Chocolate is Good. (As if we needed a list!) I was baking for a bake sale. I find bake sales to be diet un-friendly events. It’s so easy to save a dozen (or two) cookies for “home eating,” or to cut the edges off the brownies so they look nicer (and you can’t just throw the best part of the brownie away, right?). I was bagging things right up so as to avoid finding myself back in the Great Cookie Onslaught of 2011. [...]

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