There is so much to DO this time of year! It seems we are barely finished with one celebration before it’s time to prepare for the next. And then there is shopping for gifts, decorating, and…Help, Girlfriends!
Guest blogger Cathy Wilke reminds us that during the rush, rush, rush, we need to take some time to show ourselves some gratitude. And we need to help our wonderful girlfriends, the ones we just could not live without, slow down and show themselves some kindness too.
Hey Girlfriends, move in a little closer. No, closer. Yes, that’s good. I have a little something I want to share with you this Thanksgiving. Part of what you’ll do on Thursday is take some time to be grateful for all you have. But I’d like you to add something to that juicy gratitude practice of yours, I’d like you to give a little love in the other direction. In the “you” direction.
You’re always ready to help a girlfriend out when she’s down, ready to tell her how great she is, what she’s really made of and rattle off a list of everything she brings to the party. What about doing the same for yourself on a regular basis? Throwing a little love your way for all that you do, for all that you are.
We’re all working our butts off to be better people, spouses, parents, partners—to have success in whatever we’re pursuing, to leave our mark in whatever small way we can.
Some of us are on an eternal quest for self improvement.
But we get caught up in the doing and forget about the being. Because we’re always in pursuit, we never actually arrive.
There’s got to be an exhale.
- Signed on three more clients. Check
- Got promoted at work. Check.
- Helped my girlfriend get through a really bad time. Check.
- Took a loved one to the doctor even though I had a million things on my list that day. Check.
- Made the deadline. Check.
I’ve seen myself do this again and again. Big things that I’ve worked on for months—maybe years—just checked off like a minor item on a to-do list. And then I’m on to the next task—no congratulations, no victory party…
Always chasing the carrot, instead of relishing the one I have in my possession.
Don’t Be Afraid to Own It
When you do good things for others and accomplish your goals but don’t ever let yourself own those things—you’re starving yourself from acknowledgment and validation. I call it “emotional anorexia.”
Because deep down we’re all dying to be seen, heard, and loved. But if you can’t own your accomplishments and let yourself shine from the inside out, you’ll always be dependent on getting that validation from others.
Now there’s handing over your power!
We’ve all been socialized not to brag, not to toot our own horn, not to be proud. It’s not about bragging, it’s about resting into the wellspring of love that we reserve for others but keep from ourselves. When you feel good about who you are and what you bring to the world, it creates space for you to allow others to do the same. It’s a win/win my lovelies.
So while you’re being grateful for all that you have, take some time to be grateful for all that you are and all that you’ve done—for all the ways you show up for life when you’d rather be lying on the couch watching a Real Housewives marathon.
And if you’re having trouble coming up with stuff, call your best girlfriend and ask her to rattle off a list for you.
And then let those things wash over you like you’re taking a bath in them.
They belong to you. Time to own them.
CATHY WILKE is a business alchemist and marketing coach who helps small business owners and holistic practitioners create marketing that is an authentic expression of who they are by helping them tap into their Fierce Authenticity. Cathy created The Yoga Of Marketing, a business building program for those who love what they do but have no idea how to get their work out into the world. You can find her at www.freedomandfulfillment.com