Meet The Faux Diet Queen | Girlfriends Journey to being Healthy & Fit

weight loss We are delighted to introduce you to our fabulous girlfriend, The Faux Diet Queen. Faux Diet Queen, this is everyone.

The Faux Diet Queen (or as we affectionately call her, FDQ) has agreed to share her latest (and last) weight loss journey with us as a regular feature at Girlfriendology. We hope you’ll join us to cheer her on, nudge her back on track when she strays, and generally giggle along.

I am the Faux Diet Queen. I am Mom of Two (MOT), Wife of One (WOO), and Owner of Pup (OOP—or maybe OOPS at times).

Like many people of the Not Entirely Skinny body shape, I have spent my entire life on one diet or another.  Some of the diets have been somewhat reasonable; some have been totally ridiculous; most have lasted until at least 9:43am.

Over the last Too Many Years to Count, I have lost approximately 682 pounds.   Of course, I have gained 673 pounds during the same timeframe, so I can’t really say that I have been a fantastic success weight loss wise.

The first official diet I remember trying was when I was about 16 years old which as everyone knows is a time when girls have pretty much ZERO claim on sanity.  My mom was reading a women’s magazine that touted the Hamburger and Oranges Diet. Seriously. That was pretty much the entire diet. Hamburgers and Oranges.  I don’t remember whether I lost any weight, but I got really good at peeling oranges.

Yesterday, I went to see my Girl Parts Doctor. The good news is that my Girl Parts are all fine.  But my blood pressure, which I have never had to worry about before, has been creeping up and has now reached a point where my doctor felt compelled to comment on it. Well, maybe more than comment. She suggested I hightail it to my All The Parts doctor to see if I would be diagnosed with hypertension.

Once I picked my jaw up off the floor, I asked what I could do about my blood pressure that did not involve yet more pills in my daily routine. Her answer was short, simple, and straight to the point. “Faux,” she said to me, “You’ve lost a little weight in the last year. You really need to take the rest of it off.” Considering that at that moment I was wearing something too flimsy to be called a paper towel, I was pretty sure she meant the weight and not my clothes.

So here I am. This time I’m Serious. I am Determined. I am Woman, hear me roar loud enough to drown out the sound of the donuts calling to me…

I hope you’ll join me on this journey, laugh with me as I learn from my mistakes, send me a virtual brownie on the really rough days, and offer support to me and each other.

Raise your eight ounce glass of water, grab a celery stick, and let’s begin.

The Faux Diet Queen is a Girlfriend and a Half, trying to find her Skinny Self. She promises to be absolutely truthful in this blog (although she may stretch a point now and then) and to share the good, the bad, and the frustrations of weight-loss.

Girlfriendology / Debba here: We love our girlfriends no matter what size jeans they wear or what the scales tell them if they’re brave enough to get on them. (Something I personally avoid like the plague.) But, we also want our girlfriends to be around and healthy for a long time. We’re sharing this journey that our girlfriend, FDQ (the FAB Faux Diet Queen) because it’s what girlfriends do – we go through life and diets together (and shoe shopping, and highs and lows …). Join us on her journey to fitness and good health. We’re excited for her to motivate and inspire us all!

p.s. If your food stories fall into a more serious topic, like emotional eating, we’ve got a great girlfriend for you to meet too – ELLEN SHUMAN. She’s shared great advice on emotional eating on various guest blogs and podcasts. (Her podcast on emotional eating is our #1 listened to interview so lots of us have some emotional eating issues or friends/family who do.)

Here’s some more Faux Diet Queen ‘adventures.’ Stop back next Friday for the next installment!

By the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!)

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