Girlfriend Guru Donina Ifurung shares her thoughts on the special aspects of female friendships. We know we need our girlfriends!
September is a special month around Girlfriendology – it’s International Women’s Friendship Month (aka: #FriendshipMonth) and we’re celebrating with 30 great guest blogs filled with fabulous girlfriend advice and wisdom. Today we hear from one of our girlfriends, DONINA IFURUNG about why girlfriends have a special togetherness …
We can’t live without friendships. Anyone who says they don’t need a friend should watch the episode of I Love Lucy where Lucy joins the “Friends of the Friendless” organization because she thought she and Ethel were splitsville.
Friendship is the core of a relationship – whether it is a friendship with a parent, sibling, or non-relative, friendship is the glue that binds relationships. And with women there is, I believe, a special bond that male friendships do not have.
Women start their friendships early. This rings very true for girls who grow up with a sister(s). Notwithstanding sibling rivalries and having sibling brothers, sisters become fast friends from the get-go. Because they have an affinity to each other (i.e., being girls) and have to learn to share everything at tender ages, females seem to form a connection that says “I get you.”
Here my are personal observations and experiences of girlfriendships, and why girlfriends have a togetherness that men don’t have:
1. We room together – I have a younger sister who is three years younger than I. We shared a room and a bunk bed until I left for college. Our intimacy was unsurpassed, telling each other silly stories past our bedtimes, and getting yelled at to “go to sleep!” when our giggles got to loud. Even when I attended college, I roomed with three other girls. Talk about bonding! Friendships form hard and fast when you live under one roof and sleep in the same room.
2. We major together – Two of my roommates and I had the same major: Political Science. Not only did we share an apartment, but we also shared textbooks (to save money), shared notes, and even shared the typewriter! Majoring in the same concentration as two of my roommates helped ease the pain and boredom of studying, spurred me onto studying, and gave us each a competitive edge with each other. Being of the same mind helped us become excellent students – and yes, graduate, and receive our degrees.
3. We date together – Women love love. We are excited when a close friend finds someone interesting to date. We share dating horror stories and gush at the romantic overtures that a girlfriend confides in us. We even try to double-date with our best gal pal, whether in a dating situation or in a married coupling. Although we don’t literally (well, maybe sometimes) go on the date with a girlfriend and her beau, we will surely could have been the fly-on-the-wall after she comes home to report on the details of her date.
4. We break up together – Many glasses of wine have been poured out and tissues boxes depleted because of the friend whose heart has been broken after a break-up. Girlfriends will sit and cry together. They will analyze and deconstruct every bit of that relationship and break-up. They will empathize and sympathize (“He was a total jerk! He doesn’t deserve you!”). They will be there for and with their girlfriend to help her through. Their break-up is our break-up.
5. We grow together – I have known some of my close friends for over 15 years. Through those years, from the development and growth of our friendship to each other, we have grown: in our careers, our faith, our families, and ourselves. We watch out for each other, encourage each other, and support each other through the ups and downs of life. We essentially “do life” together.
Doing life together is a specialty that women seem to have. We even go to the restroom in herds! Although that is a funny (and quirky) trait we have, the friendship and “togetherness” of female friendships is beautiful and unique. I’m blessed for the ones that I have.
DONINA IFURUNG is the founder and owner of On High Heels, a boutique P.R. and Media Relations company catering to women entrepreneurs in beauty, fashion and luxury lifestyles. A self-described bookworm and scribe, she is like Cupid – creating a love connection between people and the media by writing snazzy pitches that turns heads. Though into fitness, Donina loves chocolate, wine, and (gasp!) shoes. She’s nuts for her adorable nephews and wants two boxer dogs.
How have you bonded with your girlfriends? Share your comments below!
And, by the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!)
Note: It’s September – International Women’s Friendship Month and we’re celebrating all month long! From this interview and guest blog by Miss America, to a month of women’s wisdom and 30 guest blogs, to our Newsletter Sign-up Contest and Facebook fun, and more! Don’t miss out on any of it! SIGN UP for our Newsletter and ‘Like’ us on Facebook to stay up to date with all the fun friendship festivities and more!
Our September Friendship Month Guest Blogs so far …
- Sept 1 – MISS AMERICA, Teresa Scanlan – The Importance of Friendship
- Sept 2 – Shasta Nelson, GirlfriendCircles – Friendship in Stages – Advice for more Meaningful Friendships
- Sept 3 - Kimberly Anderson, Kim’s Closet TV – Giving back to your community with a Friend
- Sept 4 – Lynn Gasior, Cabin Chicks – Girlfriend Memories and Traditions
- Sept 5 – Rachel Awes, Artist – The Art of Girlfriends
- Sept 6 – Flo Schell, Joyful Aging – Heartfelt Advice on Friendships
- Sept 7 – Cherie Burbach, author, About.com editor – How to Understand Your Girlfriend’s Health Problems
- Sept 8 – Susan Mallery, best-selling author – Three Lessons a Girlfriend Can Learn from Tim Gunn
- Sept 9 – Elizabeth Patch, artists, body image Girlfriend Guru – Conversations with Ourselves
- Sept 10 – Donina Ifurung, On High Heels – Girls and the Art of Togetherness