Girlfriend Advice: Not so great gift giving

Girlfriend GiftWe need your girlfriend advice!

One of our friends recently submitted the following ‘challenge’ she has with a friend and would like your girlfriend advice.

I love my girlfriend “Sandy.” We’ve been friends for years and celebrate holidays and birthdays together. My problem is that she gives me really strange, not-like-me gifts. She spends a lot of money sometimes on things that totally aren’t me. Like she gave me a sweater that looked like my mom would wear it (which I did end up re-gifting to her and felt incredibly guilty about!). She gives me decorations for my home which don’t really fit in my design style, etc.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I feel bad that she spends so much money on me and very rarely is it something that I would have even given a glance in a store. I also feel fake but like I have to pretend to be excited and appreciative of her gifts.

In addition, I don’t have money like she does, so I feel awkward giving her little gifts that I hope she likes too. How can I be honest with her and not hurt her feelings?

Help! I love her and appreciate how generous she is with me. And its hard to tell her after all the years of bad gifts! Do I just keep smiling and regifting? Or do I say something – and, if so, what?

Girlfriends, in this time of economic stress, I can feel her concern as well for this misuse of Sandy’s funds.

My recommendation would be to try to set a new tradition of giving each other events together – like dinners together, a trip, or just a day together. Spending time together would be a much more fun and memorable use of the money spent on gifts. And, even with a limited budget, there are great things you can do to spend time with your girlfriend that are free or affordable – like get fit and take walks together, go on a picnic and explore a state park, or take up a hobby together like knitting.

What’s your girlfriend advice?

(Check out the Girlfriendology / Games for Dames Girlfriend Gift Guide for great girlfriend gifts! Sorry, just had to throw that in!)

Have more advice for these girlfriends?

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  1. Rachael says

    With the economy the way it is right now, it’s the perfect time to make changes like this. I think it’s perfectly alright to say to your friend that due to the current economic situation, you are not able to reciprocate her expensive gifting; and beyond that, you want to get back to basics at this time, and would prefer a gift of time. Call it make-a-memory day. The gift of a memorable afternoon sounds quite swell, to me.

    And in case this does not work (in case you end up still being the recipient of odd gifts), then by all means, re-gift them. Some people just like to give things. If that happens, just think of it as a re-gift supply line. If nothing else, donate them to the needy. And then, forget about it! This is small stuff.


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