Erma Bombeck gave great girlfriend advice.
She was a ‘girlfriend’ to women by being ‘our’ voice and by making us sound funnier than we could have ourselves! She shared some great girlfriend advice, like:
- “Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.”
- “My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
- “If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”
- “The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.”
- “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’”
- “In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn’t danced on TV.”
- “When humor goes, there goes civilization.”
- “Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.”
- “Never loan your car to anyone to whom you’ve given birth.”
One great thing girlfriends do is help you get back to your authentic self and appreciate all the blessings around us. Erma wrote about these things – the little things in life that were funny, touching, meaningful or silly – just like a conversation with a girlfriend.
The following is especially meaningful as it was reported written after Erma found out that she was dying from cancer. As a girlfriend, we can all learn from her wisdom, humor and insight. Thanks Erma!
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more. You can’t learn anything with your mouth open.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth – lots of wisdom there!
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
As with everything, don t hurry it over, enjoy the process
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, ‘Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.’ There would have been more ‘I love you’s’ More ‘I’m sorry’s.’
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.look at it and really see it . . live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!
Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what. Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
In 1940, Erma Bombeck entered Emerson Junior High School, and began writing a humorous column for its newspaper, The Owl. In 1942, Bombeck entered Patterson Vocational High School, where she wrote a serious column, mixing in bits of humor.
In 1942, Bombeck began to work at the Dayton Herald as a copygirl, sharing her full-time assignment with a girlfriend. In 1943, for her first journalistic work, Bombeck interviewed Shirley Temple, who visited Dayton, and the interview became a newspaper feature.
Bombeck completed high school in 1944. Then, to earn a college scholarship fund, she worked for a year as a typist and stenographer, for the Dayton Herald and several other companies, and did minor journalistic assignments (obituaries, etc.) for the Dayton Herald as well.
Using her college fund, Bombeck enrolled in Ohio University at Athens in 1946. However, she failed most of her literary assignments and was rejected for the university newspaper. She left after one semester, when her funds ran out.
Bombeck later enrolled in the Roman Catholic University of Dayton. She lived in her family home and worked at Riker’s Store, a department store, where she wrote humorous material for the company newsletter. In addition, she worked two part-time jobs – a termite control accountant at an advertising agency and as a public relations person at the local YMCA. While in college, her English professor Fr. Tom Price commented to Bombeck about her great prospects as a writer, and she began to write for the university publication, The Exponent. Bombeck graduated in 1949, with a degree in English.
So, girlfriends, what lessons did you learn from Erma’s “If I had my life to live over” thoughts? Share things that you don’t want to miss or take for granted – like appreciating your girlfriends!
More inspiring women on Girlfriendology:
- Be a better friend – to a friend with cancer – Inspiring girlfriend Karen
- Find out how inspiring and what a good friend you are with this Oprah Friendship Quiz
- Inspiration for making a special girlfriend gift
By the way, we LOVE guest blogs here at Girlfriendology. Have a great girlfriend story to tell? Want to celebrate your fabulous female friends? SHARE! (And, we also have Girlfriend Gurus – check that out to be featured on Girlfriendology!)
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